Sarah Beth Jones

Becoming Sarah

2009-05-15T11:51:00.006-04:00

I recently joined the Floyd Wordsmiths for the first time, a talented group of folks who think the dictionary makes for good reading. The prompt for the meeting was related to our thought heritage. Below is where that idea took me.

You know that camera effect used in art movies and incontinence commercials? The one where one person is frozen, say on a New York City sidewalk at 5:15, and pushing past her are people, thousands of people, moving with such speed and determination that they look like little more than swirling slivers of color? Welcome to my childhood.

I was not stranded on a sidewalk, however, and certainly not in place like New York where both art and oddity are embraced. I was stranded at a kitchen table, a rustic oaken affair, long enough to accommodate seven children of various legal and genetic descriptions and casual enough that the inevitable gouges, scratches and crayon streaks only enhanced its beauty. The seven swirled around me on their way to jobs and dates and sports practices, draped in Truth, with a capital T, that special knowledge about life that allowed them to say the right things, wear the right clothes, make the right grades.

Whatever that knowledge was, they weren’t talking.

I spent years trying to jump into the current, trying to read their actions like Braille, perceiving but not comprehending the truths that lay in the space between their words. I accepted as just their reprimands for remaining frozen.

Still, I tested the waters, wondering if I could pull myself from the current, wondering if dry ground would be lonely, or lonelier. It took years, years to slowly pry myself from the table and nearly a decade more to push my way to the edge of the crowd.

And it is occasionally lonely here. But it is never lonelier.

Mostly, though, it is peaceful and calm, home to a quiet where discoveries can more easily be made. It sometimes seems as though I have found myself at the gateway of the collective unconscious that Carl Jung described, a place where everything primal and of true importance is stored.

But more often, it seems as though I have finally begun to stop fearing the gray spaces in my understanding, accepting them as being as vast and constant as the dark matter holding our universe together.

I have finally begun to realize that there is no capital T and there is no need to watch them any longer .

A note on a year's absence

2009-05-15T11:15:00.004-04:00

I wrote my last post on May 1, 2008, but let's face it, I had pooped out a while before that. As happened with my many attempts at journaling over the years, I eventually became tired of my own introspections and dissections and wanted some time to just be in life without constantly analyzing it.

My stat counter say that people still visit this blog though I haven't drilled down to see if any of them stay long enough read anything. Perhaps misguided results from Google searches?

A year passes, everything changes, blah blah blah. I'm ready to post again, another of my experiments with self-imposed deadlines. Let's see how it goes!

Outlandish sportsmanship

2008-05-01T06:40:00.003-04:00

I know I've all but abandoned this blog (I'm not done with blogging, though - just rejiggering for a bit) - but I had to post a link to this article. You see, I've been actively seeking signs of hope, stuff to counter what appears to be a worsening trend of mass self-absorption.

And while I do revel in the little things - the wave from a driver I let into traffic or a waitress who is extra sweet to my elderly mother-in-law - something like this really makes my sappy eyes water:

Sara Tucholsky hit a homerun in a college softball game but her knee gave out before she could touch first base. It looked like her homer would, at best, be reduced to a single by bringing in a sub when the opposing team - get this - members of the opposing team picked Tucholsky up and carried her to each base. It was the only solution that allowed her to keep the run for hitting it out of the park (her first homer, as it turns out) and the competition concocted and executed the idea independently, with no coaxing from a team that ultimately won thanks to their actions.

So, thanks ladies - particularly Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace (the women above in the white uniforms) - for the Feel Good of the Day!

Reading isn't really fundamental...

2008-04-18T07:07:00.003-04:00

...not like a few hours in Iraq is...

Reading Is Fundamental is a program that was founded in 1966 to prepare and motivate "children to read by delivering free books and literacy resources to those children and families who need them most."

The program has requested $26 million to keep the program going in 2009.

$26 MILLION.

Remind me how many minutes that pays for in Iraq?

Being that the current administration hasn't read a book since W. took the Curious George series personally, they must not understand the mistake they're making in their proposed 2009 budget in which all funding for RIF has been cut. They must not understand the value - the importance - the necessity - of reading, especially for kids, especially for the underserved kids who have so much going against them.

I don't have to tell you that reading lets us explore the world, even when our families barely (or don't) have enough money to keep the electricity on, much less travel. I don't have to tell you that reading can inspire kids to learn, can help foster creativity, can help us understand one another. But we do need to tell them.

Write to your elected representatives here. This administration has spent the last seven years chipping away at America's ability to be an intellectual power. Don't let them take this too.

Food and mouth disease research near CAFOs

2008-04-11T11:25:00.003-04:00

Our genius government is making moves to relocate an animal disease research facility from its current home on an isolated island (i.e. not near livestock) to the mainland (i.e. near livestock). Even more exciting for us North Carolinians, Butner is among the places being considered.

Apparently, they were not deterred by a government simulation, "Crimson Sky," that ended in riots when a foot-and-mouth disease outbreak necessitated the killing of tens of millions of farm animals.

There's so much wrong with this scenario... but to me, it all boils down to yet one more reason to be very thoughtful about the food I eat. Would a family farm in Butner be any less likely to have to kill their entire heard should viruses sneak out of the lab? Of course not - those animals would have to be destroyed too. But we're talking about the difference between a small, isolated herd and the thousands of animals that are crammed together in CAFOs (Confined Animal Feeding Operation); there, unsanitary, crowded conditions allow disease to roll through the population before the first cow to be infected notices the sniffles. This is why conventional meat is pumped with antibiotics, folks. Outbreaks in CAFOs would cripple our food systems enough to lead to the aforementioned riots.

As a side note, when I was in 5th grade, there was talk about building a nuclear power plant in North Carolina. My teacher, Mark Moore, read us Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes, a book in which a Japanese girl attempts to harness the good luck of a thousand origami cranes before the leftover radiation from Hiroshima kills her. Our class made cranes and Mr. Moore mailed them and a copy of the book to the powers that be in protest.

Anyone up for some folding?

Day of Silence

2008-04-11T08:16:00.003-04:00

On April 25, students across the country will take part in a Day of Silence to protest the bullying, harassment, and sadly, violence against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students.

Is there anything worth saying that isn't obvious? Our school must be safe for all students. We cannot allow our children to form hateful, prejudicial habits like bullying. Most of all, we have to finally stop placing value judgments on traits that are beyond a person's control - in that way, sexuality is no different than ethnicity.

I hope you'll encourage the students in your life to participate.

Iraq spending v. kids and homeless vets

2008-04-10T12:21:00.002-04:00

From Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) via The Huffington Post:

For one day's spending in Iraq, we could provide access to health care for 2.6 million Americans for a year. For one day's spending in Iraq, we could give 48,000 homeless veterans housing for a year."

And later:

...the conservatives who refused to spend $50 billion dollars over five years to provide health care for needy children don't think twice about spending that amount for five months of war in Iraq."

He concludes:

Clearly, we are faced with a question of priorities. We can pour money down a destructive suction tube, for a war that is creating more enemies than it can destroy, in pursuit of impossible goals. Or we can invest in our priorities here at home, while showing a new face to the world, one characterized by respect for human rights, diplomacy, and the rule of law. To me, the choice could not possibly be any clearer."

Indeed.

Read Conyers' whole post here.

Poem for mourning

2008-04-08T14:00:00.003-04:00

I cut this out of the paper a few weeks ago, and thought of sending it to a woman who recently lost her husband. She had recited a poem at his funeral, a mournful poem that he gave her to hold onto until he died. He had no idea she would have need of it so soon.

I still haven't mailed it, though. Instead, I'll post it here and send warm, healing thoughts her way...

Spare Parts

We barge out of the womb
with two of them: eyes, ears,

arms, hands, legs, feet.
Only one heart. Not a good

plan. God should know we
need at least a dozen,

a baker's dozen of hearts.
They break like Easter eggs

hidden in the grass,
stepped on and smashed.

My own heart is patched,
bandaged, taped, barely

the same shape it once was
when it beat fast for you.

- Trish Dugger

A quote for bad days

2008-04-08T07:40:00.003-04:00

There was a section right in the middle when we sat through the night and I went into a bit of a meltdown. But as I've come to appreciate, melting down is what goldsmiths do to refine dirty gold.

- Alistair Appleton, Do Buddhists Watch Telly?

Six-Word Memoir

2008-04-04T07:38:00.003-04:00

Six-Word Memoir book preview from SMITHmag on Vimeo.

Mine: Loving myself isn't so hard afterall.

What's yours?

Big Bang Boom CD

2008-03-25T08:33:00.002-04:00

As promised, the Big Bang Boom CD is now available for purchase - and for only $11! It's parent-friendly kids' music... or kid-friendly good music... or something like that. Listen to some of the tracks here then buy your disc here. You can also download from my sidebar.

Support local music and protect the ears of the parents in your life - Barney knows they've suffered enough with other kids' musicians.

Obama on race in America

2008-03-19T11:55:00.002-04:00

The blogosphere is buzzing about this speech. Why not take a half hour to watch it and make up your own mind?

Donate to commemorate

2008-03-19T06:52:00.003-04:00

For the last few days, I've been thinking about our unfortunate anniversary today, five years in Iraq - five years since awful, intentional lies dragged us into a country that was no threat, five years of sacrificing thousands of our military men and women, and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, for what? Easier access to oil? A grudge for Hussein's aggression towards H.W.? Sating W.'s desire to be a war president?

Congrats, Bushie. You've done a heckuva job.

So, how best to commemorate such a dark spot in American (and world) history? Donate.

We, the civilians of the United States of America, have been lied to, oh yes. Our government has treated us like idiots, they have abused the rights our Constitution has given us, they have trampled our privacy and they have plunged our country into massive debt to support their blood lust.

But as bad as it has gotten for us, we get to simmer in our outrage from the comfort of our own homes, while we begrudgingly pay $3.50 for gas on the way to pick up our dry cleaning. Meanwhile, the members of our armed forces are being horribly abused. They are being stop-lossed into more and more tours with almost no leave in between. They often lack appropriate training, are poorly outfitted and are completely dismissed upon their discharge, leading to the spike in vet homelessness, mental illnesses and suicide that we have seen in recent years.

I hope you are among the majority who agrees with me that this is a despicable war. But even more so, I hope you agree with me that opposing the war doesn't mean opposing the folks who are literally putting their lives on the line for our country, however misguided their missions might be.

The Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) are working to support our military - to get them the equipment, mental and physical health care, and post-discharge support they desperately need.

Also on the IAVA site are links to other war-related charities that support a variety of needs for the troops as well as Iraqi civilians and military families.

What better way to commemorate this shameful anniversary than to support those who are most horrifically impacted by it? Let your money be your protest.

New photos at Through the Rectangle

2008-03-18T18:44:00.002-04:00

I'm pleased to announce that Rob has posted new photos on his site, Through the Rectangle. It's so hard for me to pick favorites but I do have a fondness for these flowers, and this cat... and the photo on the home page makes my pulse race a little.

This one is particularly pertinent given our sad anniversary tomorrow.

Writing pain

2008-03-18T07:17:00.003-04:00

One of the questions I did answer while chatting with an amazing high school creative writing class (see parts 1 and 2 of the questions I didn't get to) had to do with whether I think it's okay to write about things that might be painful for others to read. I'd be curious to know what the student had in mind when posing this question - I certainly hope to not produce work that's so painfully bad, it's agony to be read, so I opted for a more topical interpretation of the question: it is okay to write about topics that are uncomfortable for the reader to consider?

We're taught from an early age to give a polite "fine" in response to inquiries about our state of being, and from there we spend our lives considering whether any conversation should include anything more substantive, particularly if it's negative, than that "fine." And then something derails our lives - abuse, the death of a loved one, mental illness, you fill in the blank - and we feel as though we are locked in a vacuum because no one's talking about how the same thing happened to them, how they experienced the same emotions.

Besides, who are we without our pain? Just as our joys and successes factor into who we are as whole people, so too do our disappointments and traumas... Could you fully describe yourself using only the happy moments in your life?

Kevin Powell (who people my age likely remember well from the first season of the reality show that set off the reality trend, The Real World) demonstrates this well in his poem Son2Mother. This is a short excerpt - I encourage you to read the whole poem here.

Mother, have I told you
That you are the first woman
I ever fell in love with, that what
I've always wanted in life is to hear
You say you love me, too?
That is why, ma, it has taken
Me so long to write this poem.
For how could I, a
Grown man, put words to paper
If I am that little boy
Cowering beneath the power of
That slap, the swing of that belt,
Or the slash and burn of that switch
You used to beat me into fear and submission?

Continue reading Son2Mother here.

The polite "fine" has its place at dinner parties and business meetings, but we do ourselves, and each other, a disservice when we hide behind it our whole lives.

Great question: Part 2

2008-03-17T08:27:00.001-04:00

Hey! I was able to actually continue a series - this being a series dedicated to answering the great questions of an astute high school creative writing class. Read Part 1 here.

Q: Do you think writers are born or made? Which do you think you are?

A: I tend to think there's a blend of nature and nurture in most facets of who we are and how we live our lives - that our natural abilities can either be nurtured or discouraged - both the talent itself and our belief that we can make a living at it. I'm definitely better with the written word than math or hard sciences or even speaking (as the students I spoke with will likely attest!), and I've been lucky enough to have had a really solid education in high school and college as well as people who encouraged me (including my rocking husband who has made it financially possible).

Q: Are there any people who dislike your writing and how do you respond?

A: There are two kinds of dissenting voices (at least, when it came to responding to my former News & Record column): the rational people who just don't agree and the crazies who are clearly more invested in being ugly than in having a debate. For the first group, I reply with the most comprehensive and thoughtful argument about why I disagree as I can. I really appreciate thoughtful disagreement and work to nurture relationships with people who offer them. As for the other group, sometimes I just ignore them (if I think they're really not worth my time) and the rest of the time, I reply with the calmest, most rational response I can muster. Nothing annoys people like that more than failing to get under someone's skin.

Q: What makes writing your passion?

A: The whole thing is pretty amazing to me: that we can rearrange existing words and share a unique thought, feeling, perspective, story... Writing is an excuse to learn about anything, explore any area of life, and most of all, writing is a medium through which we can connect to one another even as the world seems to become less friendly, even as we each seem to be further retreating into our own private lives. That I could rearrange words in a way that someone else finds meaningful or thought-provoking is one of the greatest thrills I can imagine.

Q: Did anyone in particular inspire you to be a writer?

A: Not really... so many authors have inspired me, and many people have been supportive of me (I count myself very lucky in that way). Madeleine L'Engle did change how I thought about writing, though. I heard her speak when I was a kid (maybe around 10?) and she talked about getting into the story and letting it lead - sometimes, it takes you to unexpected places, but the job of the author is to record what's happening, not force things to happen...

Getcher Bang hot off the presses

2008-03-13T07:22:00.002-04:00

That's right: Big Bang Boom's first album is finally ready for purchase! This is the latest project of the ever-so-talented Chuck Folds (long-time Greensborians may remember him from Bus Stop) whose other current projects are Rubberband and Chuck Folds Five.

If you haven't given Big Bang Boom a listen yet, now is the time. My favorite on the site is Why Can't I Have Ice Cream?, but there are songs on the album that seriously rival it. Okay, so it is kids' music but I promise that you don't have to have kids to enjoy it - which is kind of the point. A lifelong musician like Chuck really doesn't want to listen along as his kids listen to Barney... and nor should you.

Download now or, if you're more patient than me, wait for the actual disk to come out. Chuck recommends the latter because, as he says,

1- It sounds better! Digital download purchases are mp3's which are lower quality audio files.
2- You get the cd with the cover art, liner notes, etc...something you can hold in your hand.
3- You can easily put the cd in your computer and make mp3's for your mp3 player (yes, you can make a cd from the mp3's as well but see #2 above)
4- It helps us more as digital download stores take fees off the top of those purchases.

OK hate speech

2008-03-11T16:59:00.004-04:00

As in Oklahoma... as in state rep Sally Kern... She calls it free speech - I call it an example of the kind of person who doesn't deserve a leadership role in our country. I hope her constituents are listening, too.

Sign an open letter to Kern here.

Thanks to Interstate Q for the post.

Their Eyes Were Watching God - reflections

2008-03-11T07:33:00.002-04:00

So, it took me a little longer than I expected to reread Their Eyes Were Watching God - I was pleasantly sidetracked by rereading (ironically enough, given my general reluctance to reread anything) a childhood favorite, Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. (As a long sidenote, we picked this up for our eight-year-old nephew for Hanukkah and I offered to read it alongside him... it was interesting how differently it struck me as an adult - how scary the story is, unrelentingly scary - and how thick with religious undertones, though no particular religion... at least, no particular monotheistic religion. I'm looking forward to hearing what my nephew thinks of it...)

But with a box of tissues and stubborn unwillingness to answer my phone, I took the book and my (now finally ended) cold to bed one afternoon and plowed through it. As with my first three readings of Their Eyes, the book hit me differently this time...

I was in high school the first time I read it, and was a romantic with seriously unhealthy tendencies (particularly when it came to romance) so I was primarily swept away by Janie and Tea Cake's romance - they had found true love, their soul mates. Sure, they hit one another, and sure, Tea Cake did some questionable stuff but such are the complexities of amore, I thought.

In subsequent readings, I was lost in Hurston's language which is often breathtakingly beautiful.

She pulled the horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulders."

In those readings, I lost the romance in my anger at Tea Cake.

Perhaps it's being older... perhaps it's being (slightly) less judgemental, but this time, I didn't feel like I had to defend Janie or Tea Cake - I just had to join them. I missed the language for being lost in the story, discovering love with Janie under the pear tree; running away with her to Joe Starks, then sitting uncomfortably in his store; falling in love with Tea Cake and loving him despite his human shortcomings...

I occasionally go through phases where I value non-fiction more than fiction because I want fact, the truth of the world. But Their Eyes are Watching God is a great reminder that truth and fact are often not the same thing.

Great question: Part 1

2008-03-10T08:55:00.002-04:00

Last Thursday, I spent a class period with an amazing high school creative writing class. I've always stayed pretty connected with my high school self (as in, I remember all too well what that time in my life was like, not, hopefully, that I haven't evolved in the decade+ since then) and so have always had a special place in my heart, and special set of sympathies, for teenagers. Of course, I often don't get teenagers - life and the way people experience their teen years does change ever so rapidly. But the creativity, playfulness, sarcasm and angst displayed by this group felt so comfortable to me, so very familiar.

The list of questions the students put together for me is a study in thoughtful inquisition - really interesting questions that I was really excited to answer. But there were so many of them that most went unanswered in the little talk I prepared. So, in an ongoing series of posts, I intend to answer the rest. I hope my regular readers will enjoy it as much as the students who opt to stop by.

Q: Do you think that good writing has been replaced by popular fluff that appeals to the masses?

A: I think that there are lots of reasons people write and lots of reasons people read, and that sheer entertainment is a valid reason for both. My guess is that the ratio of fluffy entertainment to well-informed non-fiction and meaty, rich fiction isn't so different than it used to be... but with more and more books being published, and the democratization of writing with blogging, and with fewer people actually reading, it might be harder to wade through to more substantive writing. But there are so many amazing contemporary authors: Jhumpa Lahiri, Michael Pollan, Anosh Irani, Salman Rushdie, Marsha Mehran... on and on...

Q: How do you organize your thoughts while writing?

A: I'll let you know as soon as I figure that out... organization is an abiding preoccupation of mine - it's damn near a hobby, really. I'm forever reorganizing, rearranging. For shorter works, I tend to write in layers: first thoughts go down then I revise and rewrite in the document until I like what it says, with notes to myself piling up at the bottom. For longer works, I've been using OneNote lately, a program that works like an actual notebook with sections, pages, subpages, etc. It can collect anything - Web pages, other documents, spreadsheets, images, notes - and is easily searchable. Right now, everything goes in there... now, remembering to look back at that is an entirely different story...

Q: When you walk into a room, do you first observe the condition of the room or the people inside the room?

A: People, always people. People are more interesting to me than just about anything else... and I think it's important to meet the world head-on, looking people in the eye. I think it's a friendlier way to approach life and it shows confidence - it can even build confidence when there's not much to show.

Q: Which is more important in persuasive writing: style, content or wit?

A: I think there's probably a perfect blend of style and content out there - style to engage people, giving the writer an opportunity to be persuasive, and content so that once the reader is hooked into the piece, there's a worthwhile argument to offer. It is in making a worthwhile argument that wit, in terms of being on the ball, comes into play. Wit, in terms of humor, is a bonus, but plenty of successful writers have shown us that it's not essential to persuasion (see George Will).

More to come!

Eating in Asheville

2008-03-05T11:01:00.004-05:00

Life does have a way of blowing by, but before our lovely meals become distant memories, I wanted to do a post on where we ate in Asheville last weekend.

When we came into town, we went straight to 12 Bones - it's only open on weekdays and only for lunch, so it was our one opportunity. We were hopeful when we pulled in because the usual line wasn't snaking through the parking lot. As it turned out, the line was snaked through the restaurant proper - so much for a small crowd at a late lunch. As usual, the BBQ and ribs were amazing, as were the sides. Unfortunately, the crowd meant we had to sit outside, which would have been okay (despite the cold and the low oil in the table heater) if some folks hadn't let their kids use the outdoor seating area as their personal playground (while the parents dined inside). I'm guessing one kid is still having nightmares about the glare Rob gave him when he decided to springboard off the table we were eating at - the kid kicking up dirt a few feet away would have had a similar terror had he been paying attention. As we were leaving, the kids were throwing stones at random cars in the parking lot. Yeah.

That night, though, made up for that weirdness in spades. A new joint has opened in Biltmore Village, in a building that was most recently a biker bar. The before pictures they had for our viewing pleasure showed amazing imagination in turning that run down hole into what is now Stovetrotters. Stovetrotters is a wild place with lots of big dreams - I encourage you to visit their Web site to learn about some of the wine dinners, culinary vacations and more that they've got going on (or, in some cases, will have going on soon). As a straight-up dining experience, though, we summed it up as a fine dining where you feel comfortable slouching.

You walk into Stovetrotters looking straight into the open kitchen, which is set up behind the bar. We got our first little thrill when the chef looked up from what he was doing to greet us as soon as we stepped inside. The place is small, so a little loud, but that added to it feeling comfortable for us. The waitstaff was warm and knowledgeable and gave off the distinctive feeling that they are in it for the love of the place as much, if not more, than the paycheck. The food was excellent... though, for the sake of full-disclosure, I do have to confess it wasn't the best meal we've ever had, but it was way up there and the dedication of the staff makes us believe that they will only get better with time. After all, they've only been open as a bistro since December.

Over the course of our meal, we chatted with the owner/pastry chef, the chef, and our waiter who is also the sommelier. We witnessed staff members teasing one another then hugging and a waiter give the chef a high-five after tasting the special for the night (by then, we had finished eating but I had to know what the waiter was so excited about so he brought us a little tasting plate of a pecan-crusted mahi with a sour cherry compote over risotto - we instantly understood the high-five).

I know, those are silly little things, but for me and Rob, they all added up to the best overall dining experience we've had - comfortable, warm, friendly, delicious - and we had a three-course meal with wine for just over $100 - can't beat it!

The rest of the weekend was rounded out with places where we've eaten before but were eager to return: Salsa's, the first place everyone mentions when dining in Asheville (crazy delicious Carrabean/Latino flavors piled high - go very hungry but plan to wait in line), Blue Mountain Pizza in Weaverville, a pizza joint with a gourmet's soul and bohemian clothes, and, never to be missed, the Chocolate Fetish where you won't regret trying anything but must have the sea salt caramels.

Just some thought for food...

Anti-drug ad

2008-03-03T07:58:00.002-05:00

At the aforementioned Claypool show, Rob and I had an idea for an anti-pot ad that might actually work...

Toward the end of the night, a couple of hippie chicks were dancing next to us, we're guessing stoned out of their gourds, waving their little arms and swaying around, throwing in moves that were reminiscent of Walk Like an Egyptian but without the Bangles' sultry sex appeal. It was truly painful to watch.

That's it - they're the ad. Sure, you can smash eggs and deflate teenage girls and try to scare kids from trying weed, but show them that they could easily look way less cool than they think they look, and I think the campaign will be more impactful. After all, almost no teenager can relate to ruining their short-term memory but every teen can relate to the quest for coolness...

Claypool in Asheville

2008-03-03T07:09:00.004-05:00

It is, indeed, time for another Claypool concert report!

This past Saturday, Claypool was back at the Orange Peel, a club that ranks among our favorites because there's really not a bad spot in the place. We were waiting out the pre-show on a bench in the corner and had a pretty decent view of the stage when the opening act, Secret Chiefs 3, came one. We didn't stay seated long, though. I wasn't totally turned on when I heard their music on their MySpace site (I like my readers too much to send you to their official Web site - that thing is all but unnavigable). But live, they were (mostly) able to pull their seriously eclectic sound, produced by seven people on stage and featuring influences including Indian and Irish (that we heard - I can't begin to decipher the influences list on their page), into a really compelling set.

But Claypool, our ole pal Claypool... according to an interview with Mountain Xpress, Claypool wanted to mix it up a bit for this show:

We’re working up a bunch of old material right now that people are going to be very surprised I’m pulling out,” he says, including “some stuff that’s never been able to be performed before.”

And how. The show was unlike any other Claypool experience we've had which first made us wonder what he was partaking of during his off-stage breaks and later made us wonder if Gabby LaLa, who was notably missing, is the den mother who keeps the boys from straying too far from the sheet music. Don't get me wrong - we love Gabby LaLa's artful Theremin dancing and electric sitar strumming, but Claypool, saxophonist Skerik, drummer Paulo Baldi and percussionist (including vibraphone and marimba) Mike Dillon put on a hell of a show.

They were kind enough to grace us with some crowd sing-along favorites, like D's Diner and Whamola, but true to his word, they also played some unexpected ditties, like Fisticuffs (a Primus song, no less), Highball with the Devil, Buzzards of Green Hill, Cosmic Highway and oh so many more... and, with all the riffing and improvising they did, I'm not sure than any song lasted less than ten minutes, including an extended dueling drum bit in the middle of the set (with his floppy hair and no holds barred performing, Dillon sometimes closely resembles Animal from the Muppets). All told, their set was two and a half hours of fancy music fun.

As a side note, though Claypool did his usual costume changes and then some (new to the mix were a judges robes with a powdered wig and some sort of Genghis Khan looking warrior mask), the rest of the guys were outfitted in these queer (dictionary definition, people) red turtle necks with little snowmen all over them, the kind of thing only a woman who shops at Cold Water Creek would wear seriously... did they lose a bet to Claypool? I suppose we'll never know...

Will hike for mental health

2008-02-28T17:12:00.003-05:00

Susan Smalley posted about the mental health benefits of reconnecting with nature on The Huffington Post today. According to her bio, Smalley is a "Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences at UCLA who specializes in the genetics of psychiatric disorders, particularly those with onset in childhood or adolescence, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and autism."

She, and supporting research, posit that part of the increase in anxiety, depression and learning disorders in modern kids (and I would suggest adults, too) stems from a disconnection from nature, play and activities that involved creativity and intuition.

It does smack of woo-woo hippidom, but I can see the sense of it - or, at least, I can sense the sense of it... I have had many experiences lately where Rob has encouraged me to drop whatever it was that I was working on, which inevitably seemed urgently important at the time, and hit a hiking trail for an hour. And the second we're surrounded by trees, I feel calm.

I can't explain why and, frankly, I don't think the why is particularly important in this case. Maybe it's simply being disconnected from the world for a moment; maybe we're hardwired to respond to the sounds of the upper branches of trees creaking in the wind and birds calling to one another; maybe the pure oxygen that seeps from trees gets us high.

Of course, with hiking, there are the added benefits of whatever it is that exercise does to contribute to mental wellness. Again, I don't know what that is, but I know that when I get into the habit of exercising, I notice the change in my mood when I stop. (Rob notices the change, too, I assure you.) It's not like I'm doing anything ambitious, like running until I hit the endorphin rush - just hiking, sometimes somewhat briskly, but always with plenty of stops while Rob takes pictures or we just admire something out there - the turtles floating in the water or the curve of a particular tree.

Smalley suggests taking time to "Lie down on the ground and what the sky for a while," and I can't agree more. It's free, there are no nasty side effects (read: Prozac and a sadly decreased libido) and you don't have to reveal your inner soul to someone you're paying $125 an hour (though I am a huge advocate of doing so).

All in all, it's a big "why not?"

Memory at 85

2008-02-26T07:47:00.002-05:00

Because I married a man a bit older than me, and because he was the surprise child of a woman who initially thought the symptoms of her third pregnancy were signs of her impending "change," I have a mother-in-law who is 85. Since I've known her, she has gone from mildly forgetful to clearly living with dementia. I try to stay very silver-lining about it, which isn't terribly hard because Caroline remembers us and the rest of the family and she's still herself (unlike some with Alzheimer's who display entirely different personalities). And she's basically happy - she'd rather live in an apartment (though definitively none of her kids - something she decided when caring for her own mother with dementia), but says the assisted living facility where she lives is "good enough for now," with nice people and good food that she's eternally grateful to not have to cook.

Lately, though, we've noticed a drop in her memory. Though we like to think of memory loss (as she puts it) as a steady decline, there are actually dips and plateaus - occasionally, there are even rebounds, such as when Caroline became disoriented when she moved into assisted living but rebounded to basically where she was, memory-wise and functionally, before moving.

So, yesterday I took her to the doctor to get a referral to a neurologist. No harm checking it out, we figure. It's been three years since her last trip to the neurologist and there's no telling what kinds of treatment options have been put on the market since then. We are, after all, living in what some reckon to be the golden age of brain sciences.

Her primary care physician said, "So, how old are you?"

Ah, I see where this is going...

"And you think your memory is poorer than it should be for 85?"

Yup, we've landed... at a good point, no less. What do we expect from an 85 year old woman? I'll admit that I expect what I have with my own 87-year-old grandmother and 88-year-old step-grandfather who are both sharp as tacks, both of whom reside in independent living facilities. But perhaps I have it backwards? Perhaps Caroline's functioning should be what we expect in these years so far beyond the lifespan relatively recent history suggests we should have, while these two amazing paragons of health should be considered exceptions worthy of much celebration.

There's been an increasing amount of debate lately about our expectations of aging, particularly in America where we seem to believe aging is optional. Graceful aging is more often regarded as confusing - why would we accept gray hair and wrinkles when we have a host of professionals and products to remedy them?

At nearly 30, it's easy for me to enjoy my growing crop of gray hair and make predictions about how I will face aging once my brain and body start giving out on me. Really, really easy.

In the meantime, I'll take Caroline to the neurologist and hope that he has some fancy new prescription that will combat her dementia if even only a little. If nothing else, the effort will make her happy.

Jim Neal for Senate

2008-02-25T17:16:00.002-05:00

I received an email from a guy at Jim Neal's campaign after I wrote about Kay Hagan recently. Apparently, they thought I could be nudged from "Like Hagan but can't find fault with Neal" to "Ohhh... decisions, decisions" or even "Hagan who?" with a short conversation.

They might just have been right.

I just got off the phone with Neal who was absolutely charming - the kind of person I feel like I've known forever after our 20 minute conversation. The thing with both Hagan and Neal is that they don't feel particularly shellacked, though I will say that Neal's complete lack of barriers or formality did make Hagan feel a little glossy in retrospect. I suppose that's to be expected, though - Hagan has been in politics for a long while while Neal hasn't held an office outside institutes of education. She's had more time to integrate the sheen of politics into her NC gal personality.

But that's the whole crux of their run-off, much like the Clinton/Obama debate nationally. Which is better: a newbie who hasn't been tainted by the political system, but perhaps will have more of a learning curve once in office, or a person with existing experience and relationships that might make the transition smoother, but who has had plenty of time to be twisted by an increasingly suspect system?

Going into my conversation with Neal, I had two questions top of mind: 1) How does he really differ from Hagan politically? 2) As a man who makes no bones about being gay, how does he intend to keep his sexuality a non-issue?

He had several examples at the ready on the Hagan question - areas in which their votes would have been different had they already been in U.S. Senate. Some differences according to Neal:

Hagan would grant retroactive immunity to telecoms for their participation in warrantless wiretapping; he would not.
Hagan said she would support SCHIP if it didn't interfere with the tobacco industry, but Neal says he would "take kids over smokers any day."
Hagan wouldn't give an opinion about Mukasey being installed as Attorney General because she didn't have all the info the Senate had. Neal said he would not vote for anybody who had to parse words about whether waterboarding is okay. "I don't think that sends the appropriate message to the world."

As for his sexuality, Neal said, "It is what it is, and I am what I am. I'm not running from the fact that I'm gay nor do I believe that it would be an issue which would block or stand in the way of my being elected."

He rightly pointed out that anyone who wouldn't vote for him solely because of his sexuality likely wouldn't have voted for him anyway because of his stands on a variety of issues, particularly social issues. During a time in which barriers are being knocked down right and left in the presidential field, Neal believes people find his honesty refreshing.

It is a beautiful picture that shows a North Carolina in which an openly gay man could take over Jesse Helms' seat just six years after the master hate monger retired. Even more than my concern about whether enough North Carolinians will vote for a gay man, though, are my concerns that people who have no problem with his sexuality will choose to use their vote elsewhere in their search for the winning horse. That's not a problem with him - that's a problem with a political system that would be better served by allowing people to choose more than one candidate during an election - that way, we could vote for our favorite dark horse (like me and Mike Gravel in the presidential election) while also casting a vote for the person closest to our views but with the better chance of winning (Obama... then again, I do love Obama... almost as much as the surly Gravel.).

Am I a total Neal convert? I'm not sure yet. I completely agree with his stands on the issues above but there's more research to be done before the May 6 primary. I definitely want to have a beer with the guy, though... not that that's a reason to vote for a person... but perhaps this quote is:

"We've had enough of the politics of division," he said. "This is a year about changing the status quo." Amen.

Homeless vets

2008-02-22T08:34:00.003-05:00

This morning's Story Corps on NPR was told by George Hill, who was homeless for 12 years after leaving the Marines.

According to the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans, there are roughly 200,000 homeless veterans any given night. They believe it is conservative to estimate that one out of three homeless men once served in the military.

Rob, who was in the Navy, says that the first thing they were told in boot camp was that their job was to die for their country. Period.

Now, clearly I am against the war and wish ever so much that big chunks of our military budget would be put into other things like, say, education and health care. But as a country who makes up the red portion of this pie:

shouldn't we have the budget to take care of the men and women who commit their lives to what they perceive to be our safety? Shouldn't they, of all people, be protected against homelessness by the government that sent them into the war zone in the first place, that asked them to put their lives in the hands of people in fancy suits living it up in DC?

My guess is that starting with quality mental health care throughout their service and after would be a great place to start in combating vet homelessness...

The introspection of mourning

2008-02-22T07:06:00.005-05:00

I suppose death makes most of us a little thoughtful, and I have spent the last few weeks, as my ex's father battled cancer for a short while and then passed, thinking of the nearly four years that I was a part of their family. I was a problem relative, to say the least... Perceived as a bad influence on my ex (not the first time I had been accused of that but one of the few times I didn't think it was true), I defended myself through gruffness and sarcasm. I was young; they were protective. I suppose we were all doing what we had to do.

At the lunch, I stood for a while with my ex and the two friends we spent all of our time with, a couple we traveled with, rang in the New Year with, called whenever we happened to be heading out to dinner. It was a strange kind of deja vu, so familiar and yet so alien... one of those moments where it seemed like both yesterday and a lifetime since the four of us stood around together... comfortable but terribly, terribly uncomfortable at the same time.

After all, what is the role of an ex in that situation? I wanted to be useful and comforting but after more than six years apart, that's long since stopped being my job... that's not even within my skill set anymore. I barely had a grasp on how to do that when we were a couple...

The broken heart I sustained at the end of that relationship has long since flaked away, aided in large part by Rob whose very presence in my life has shown me that I was wrong to think major compromise - who I am, what I want from a partner, what I want from my life - is an integral part of a long-term relationship. In it's place, I'm glad to have an amazing marriage, and a friendship with my ex, fueled by the memory of the qualities I loved about her... her awkwardness and sincerity and basic goodness.

The funeral ended with the playing of Dream a Little Dream, which took on a whole new meaning in the Hanes Lineberry chapel:

Say "nighty night" and kiss me
just hold me tight and tell me
you'll miss me.
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me.
Stars fading
but I linger on
dear
still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn, dear

I don't have any real beliefs in heaven and hell, but I hope that his wife was right when she imagined him sailing to the shores of heaven, greeted by his and her parents who promptly poured him a Maker's Mark. Surely, they serve Maker's Mark in heaven? I'll add that I hope his heaven plays really good music, with a healthy dose of Jonny Lang on the juke box.

Nighty, night, George. You worked hard and played hard; you were funny and irreverent and a hell of a wheeler-and-dealer. You lived life fully and in the process touched the lives of a lot of people. You will truly be missed.

Newspapers adjusting to new times

2008-02-20T08:41:00.003-05:00

We are in the midst of a monumental clash: new media versus old. On the local level, this is playing out particularly in the struggle between traditional print news, our very own News & Record, and the proliferation of free, online news sources from blogs to the New York Times online. The question being asked across the board is: Will local daily newspapers remain relevant much longer?

Bill Snider*, who spent two decades as the editor of what was then the Greensboro Daily News, thinks the question is a little overblown. “I think newspapers will find their niche the way radio did after TV came in.”

Roch Smith, Jr., the developer and proprietor of We101.com, a site that aggregates local blogs, agrees. “Now more than ever, with everyone able to publish to the Web, the value that news organizations can bring is credibility.”

That is just about where the agreement ends. During my conversations with them last week, each offered different perspectives on how local dailies will remain strong in a landscape in which the traditional profit generators – advertising and print circulation – are fast dwindling.

“I know weekly newspapers do mighty well with a local emphasis,” Bill said, “but I think if people are going to depend on a daily newspaper, then it ought to cover national and international news, more than the local news.”

Alternately, Roch sees anything beyond local coverage as an unnecessary recycling of content to be found on any national news site. He instead sees the role of the local dailies as being a resource for connecting people. “I find myself most interested in starting with the human level, as I see the blogs defining it.” Accordingly, Roch begins his news surfing by reading Greensboro blogs then following their links to the News & Record Web site for the “hard news” of the matter.

Meanwhile, the News & Record finds itself stretching uncomfortably between these divergent populations. A recent Web site redesign and the addition of more than a dozen staff-written blogs, all linked to We101, were notable efforts to reach out to the dramatically increasing population of readers who approach news as Roch does.

But I tend to agree with Roch that rejiggering may, ultimately, be less effective than rethinking, particularly redefining the end-all, be-all of newspaper bottom-lines: circulation. Roch believes that dailies should “measure the circulation of the content rather than the circulation of the container.”

What he means is that while newspapers are still busily counting the number of print issues purchased, they could boost their readership by inviting people to circulate their content through new media tools, particularly widgets. For example, I have a widget on my blog that links to my GoodReads bookshelves. Anyone on my blog sees GoodReads branding, and anyone interested in what I’ve been reading can click through to their site, which may stir interest in starting their own GoodReads account. My blog provides a resource to readers and GoodReads gets free advertising. The News & Record could do the same by providing a widget that displays headlines, local sports scores or whatever they want. As Roch pointed out, widgets could even include third-party advertising, further boosting revenue.

As the News & Record squares off with this formidable challenge, its need to cut expenses means that this is my last regular column. I’m sad to go but honored to have had a nearly two-year dialogue with all of you. Thanks for reading – I hope you’ll continue to support our paper as it finds its footing in our new media world.

*Bill Snider, just for full-disclosure's sake, is a member of my extended family.

A&T SuperStudents

2008-02-19T07:35:00.002-05:00

I've had the front section of the Saturday News & Record sitting on my desk the last few days, trying to decide what to do with the article about Damien Cash and Derrick Gardner, two A&T students who intervened when a woman was being attacked... news that inspiring deserves more than a wimpy blog post, but I can't really imagine a gesture I could make that would befit two young men taking personal responsibility in a time that seems increasingly me-first... no, I think we're often beyond me-first and well into me-only.

So, I'll stick with a truly sub-par "Bravo!!" and hope that the word of their selfless deed inspires other people to take a moment to look beyond the bubble of their own existence. Maybe Damien's mom could teach parenting classes - as she said, "I know I raised him the right way." Indeed.

Another of Olbermann's Bush smack-down

2008-02-18T08:08:00.003-05:00

Olbermann may have an ego the size of Bush's war deficit, but he says what needs to be said with an appropriate amount of indignation... and, more importantly, logic:

USA 193

2008-02-16T17:38:00.002-05:00

Apparently the ill-fated spy satellite, USA 193, will be visible in Greensboro at moments throughout the weekend:

USA 193 - Visible Passes

Search period start:	00:00 Saturday, 16 February, 2008
Search period end:	00:00 Tuesday, 26 February, 2008
Observer's location:	Greensboro, 36.0730°N, 79.7920°W
Local time zone:	Eastern Standard Time (UTC - 5:00)
Orbit:	261 x 263 km, 58.5° (Epoch Feb 11)

Click on the date to get a star chart and other pass details.

Date	Mag	Starts			Max. altitude			Ends
Date	Mag	Time	Alt.	Az.	Time	Alt.	Az.	Time	Alt.	Az.
16 Feb	3.4	18:33:55	10	SSE	18:35:23	15	ESE	18:36:33	12	E
17 Feb	2.5	18:27:29	10	S	18:29:29	27	SE	18:31:30	10	ENE
18 Feb	1.5	18:21:02	10	SSW	18:23:14	55	SE	18:25:29	10	NE
19 Feb	1.6	18:14:29	10	SW	18:16:43	68	NW	18:18:58	10	NNE

Developed and maintained by Chris Peat, Heavens-Above GmbH
Please read the updated FAQ before sending e-mail.

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day!

2008-02-16T14:36:00.002-05:00

Psst - this guy's Lego art is also pretty amazing:

Guerrilla Poetry

2008-02-14T08:43:00.004-05:00

I smiled at an older gentleman at the Harris Teeter on New Garden yesterday. (Other than when in truly dire moods, I try to smile at strangers - these days, it's damn near an act of rebellion.) He took my smile as an invitation and offered me a poem.

It's, obviously, an unusual offer and I honestly wasn't sure if he was going to recite one to me, or if the guy was a little loopy... I do have a string of quasi-homeless, slightly (sometimes very) wacky older man friends in my past - it seems that I'm like catnip to them... probably because I smile.

Anyway, the man handed me a short poem printed on a small piece of card stock, then fished out two more. "My wife prints these out for me so I can give them to people," he said. Apparently, he also writes songs and sings them acapella, then burns them onto disks to give to people, but he was out yesterday and hoped that we would run into one another again so he could share one of those.

And then we parted ways. We didn't even shake hands or introduce ourselves.

The poems could have been total crap - it wouldn't have changed the fact that the interaction made the day seem somehow magical. I love moments like that, stumbling across a lovely stranger who offers an unsolicited bit of kindness. Shortly before, a friend told me that she had been given a cup of coffee by a random stranger at a Starbucks, which had likewise made her day.

And I love that this man would share something as intimate as a poem with strangers. I can imagine that many people are put off by the whole thing and refuse the poem, but I hope that much more often, they not only accept the slip of paper but do so graciously and really take a moment to read his words.

But the poems, while perhaps not making this man contender for poet laureate of NC, are lovely and positive. My favorite of the three:

A Letter to my Life

Dear Life,

Be kind and comforting
when I mourn
Be happy and vibrant
when I celebrate
Be patient while
I choose my path

Be forgiving and
understanding
when I make mistakes
Be aware and supporting
when I choose wisely
Carry me softly on
your gentle breath so
I land upright and honest

True to myself and others
and to the memory of my ancestors

- Harry Nagel

Counterproductive diet food?

2008-02-13T08:40:00.002-05:00

I had heard before (though I can't now remember where) that some research suggested that artificial sweeteners are counterproductive in the quest to lose weight. A BBC article highlights a study that shows the same.

Granted, the study was performed on rats and not humans, but being my own lab rat of dietary methods, I will say that keeping weight off has involved almost no effort since Rob and I transitioned into a whole foods way of eating. When we were doing Weight Watchers, and were subscribing to the conventional wisdom of weight loss, we had to pay attention to every morsel that entered our mouths and experience those oh so un-American feelings of deprivation to shed pounds. It's counterintuitive but true that now that we eat an egg sandwich every morning (on whole wheat bread) and have banned all low-fat and artificially sweetened (except for the occasional diet soda) from our pantry (we are more flexible out and about), we're lighter than we've been before and we're really enjoying what and how we eat. Mind you, we did replace low-fat items with full-fat, particularly cheese and the swap from margarine to butter. Mmmm, butter!

As with this study, I do tend to think the magic lies in our bodies not being confused by the messages the food sends. While artificial and processed foods prime the body for a certain amount of caloric energy and certain kinds of nutrients that they don't deliver, our bodies know exactly what to do with whole, real foods - it's no mystery to our digestive systems how to break down beets, whole grains or even real cheeses (except, of course, for you unfortunate lactose-intolerant folks - so sorry!). Perhaps that is, in part, why we stay sated for so much longer and have cut back our snacking dramatically.

Now that I think about it, the whole foods "diet plan" isn't so mysterious after all...

Flight of the hamsters

2008-02-10T18:31:00.000-05:00

Flight of the Hamsters is the game to play if you're in a bad mood - I have laughed so hard - wait till the little guys start making a descent from really hight up... - now, if someone could explain to me how to steer the hamster...

Sit-ins roundtable

2008-02-08T09:27:00.000-05:00

Again, seriously overdue on posting this, particularly since the roundtable happened last Friday, but I still wanted to share bits and pieces. Just as background, as you likely know, last Friday was the 48th anniversary of the beginning of the sit-in movement, when four A&T students, Ezell Blair, Jr., (now Jibreel Khazan), David Richmond, Franklin McCain and Joseph McNeil, sat down at the segregated Woolworth's counter in downtown Greensboro, reinvigorating the civil rights movement and, as the three surviving members said last Friday, putting a "down payment on our manhood."

Highlights from the roundtable included:

They consider themselves the A&T Four, not the Greensboro Four. Though the whole city claims them and their actions now, in 1960, A&T was really a separate and self-contained city.
Dr. Warmoth Thomas Gibbs, then the president of A&T, was asked to talk the Four out of the protest, to which he reportedly replied, "We don't teach our students what to think; we teach them how to think."
Lewis Brandon, who was an A&T student at the time, and the first winner of the Human Rights Medal in 2002, said, "Greensboro likes to think of itself as progressive, especially in race relations. But Greensboro has never made change without a struggle from the community."
When asked by a student how they feel about A&T now, McCain said, "I'm proud of the institution but I'm not satisfied that students are doing enough," he went on to say that he felt the same way when he was a student. (As a funny side note to that question, he made mention of his mother not abiding him wearing a hat inside the house and a student immediate removed his toboggan.)
McCain also advised, "Don't wait for the masses to act on your concerns because the masses didn't come February 1, 1960, and they're not coming February 1, 2008."
Perhaps most importantly, McCain also said that the reason people are born with the capacity to do more than survive is because it is our job to take care of the least among us, that we're supposed to leave the world a better place than we found it. Buying fancy cars and starting families is all well and good, he said, but it's not the point.

A final note: My friend, Diane, and I were among the five white people there, in a turn-out that I expected to be standing room only but was instead filled with empty seats. It made me wonder a couple of things:

Though African Americans were, clearly, the leaders and motivators of the civil rights movement, have we forgotten that people of all ethnicities, including whites, played significant supporting roles? That issues that affect minorities are issues that we must all address to have the best possible America?
Have we reached a place where we have made enough gains in minority rights that we have gotten lazy? I wonder this not just about issues related to people of color but also about feminism... We do not have true equality - we have earnings disparities, health care disparities, legal disparities - and yet not enough people turned out to hear the wisdom of living civil rights legends to fill a modestly-sized auditorium?

Kay Hagan for Senate

2008-02-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

I'm a little behind the ball on posting, but better late than never...

I went to a fundraiser for Kay Hagan on Monday night. I've met Kay a time or two in the past - at a meeting of the (now defunct) local chapter of NAWBO when she was campaigning for her most recent term in the State Senate, and more recently, when I ran into her at the Greensboro Farmers Curb Market. She was in her Saturday morning sweats with her hair pulled back and I didn't recognize her, but she stopped me to comment on a recent column. Needless to say, I was flattered...

But that's not why I like Kay - I liked, and supported her, from that first NAWBO meeting where I got the distinct impression (that has remained in the years since, as I've watched her career) that she's not trying to pull anything over on anyone. Though I, like a lot of people, have an innate suspicion of anyone in politics, Kay has never struck me as trying to pass for anyone other than herself, and to be sincere when she says she cares much more about issues than partisan politics. That said, she does have a seriously liberal voting record (this is the General Assembly record, and this is the abbreviated yet much easier to read Project Smart Vote record), but I'm certainly not one to criticize a person for that...

At the fundraiser, I again felt like she wasn't trying to sell a line, that she's truly concerned with comprehensive education for all kids ("I want all kids to have the opportunities my kids had," she said - her kids attended Greensboro Day School), to support military with a particular emphasis on the mental health of those returning from action, and to build our state's reputation as a center for business, particularly nanotechnology.

Still, I have to confess that I have yet to find fault with Jim Neal, who is also making a run for Dole's seat. Of course, I've never met the guy and he doesn't have any sort of voting record for easy insight... but I have to give a lot of credit to a guy who is openly gay and doesn't make any bones about it either way - it is what it is. A person's sexuality should only be a matter for the individual and whoever they're romantically involved with. As long as an elected official handles their power responsibly and with the needs and wants of their constituents in the forefront, what do I care what gender of consenting adult they have under their sheets?

Ultimately, neither gender nor sexuality (nor, in the case of our presidential race, ethnicity) have anything to do with a person's ability to fill a public office they hope to hold. May the most suitable, dedicated person win.

Gun buyers should prove qualifications

2008-02-06T10:14:00.001-05:00

By now, we've all read the statistics: 32 homicides in Greensboro last year, six of whom were teenagers. What wasn't widely publicized was that 25 of those killings, 78 percent, were gun-related deaths. Simmer down, NRA members: This isn't a column about banning guns, but it is one about being thoughtful about how we handle the awesome responsibilities of this right.

It's something I've thought about a lot over the years, particularly at the beginning of this decade when I spent a year's membership at Calibers Indoor Gun Range, creating ever-tighter patterns of .22-caliber holes in faceless paper targets.

It was a powerful feeling to use a weapon with such intensely destructive potential. Ultimately, it was knowing how easily the trigger slid under my grip that kept me from buying a gun.

You see, that's the problem with guns: They are so incredibly easy to use. It takes infinitely more know-how to operate a computer, with which the average non-hacker can hurt little more than people's feelings, than a firearm that can end a life with even the most careless of gestures.

I just can't help but wonder how many of those 25 dead would still be alive had their attacker not had such a convenient weapon. If those attackers had only their fists, or a knife, would they have followed through? It's gory but worth considering that a beating or stabbing requires time, effort and proximity. You can't beat someone from 400 feet away, but you can shoot someone from that distance, even with a wimpy .22 revolver. No, an attacker using fists or knives has to be within an intimate distance of the victim, close enough for a vivid experience of the effect of their actions.

Meanwhile, a person with a gun standing a football field away could barely see the entry wound, much less the precious blood seeping from it. Most importantly, I suspect it's a gracious few people who have the expertise to hit or stab someone once to kill them, leaving time for a change in heart, to stop the attack before it's too late.

Still, I'm not suggesting that guns be outlawed completely. Our civil rights seem to be an endangered species and I'm not interested in further abridgements. But I do think more processes should be implemented to ensure that only those who can handle the deadly power of firearms have access to them.

Right now, we have a waiting period to buy guns in stores but an unfortunate gun-show loophole. Why? Do we value commerce more than responsibility? Right now, anyone who wants to legally carry a concealed weapon must complete an educational course, but why not extend that to all gun ownership? People should be required to prove they can handle both the weapon itself and the responsibility therein before taking a firearm home. We rightly require as much before a person can drive a car.

And, by all means, let's hold gun owners responsible for anything that happens with their firearm, whether they are the ones who pull the trigger or not. Unless a gun is reported stolen, there's no excuse for not taking full responsibility for its whereabouts.

I realize that there will always be a black market for firearms and other contraband. But when lives are on the line, it is worthwhile to take a note from the Serenity Prayer and change that which we can. We can tackle the problems of illegal weapons once we start acting rationally and responsibly with legal ones.

will.i.am and Obama

2008-02-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

I suppose this had the effect it was meant to, because I was truly moved by this... not that anyone has had to convince me to be an Obama backer...

I was also moved by will.i.am's post - from the heart, and the perspective of a person who isn't a political junkie. This is an excerpt - go to www.yeswecansong.com for the whole shebang:

The outcome of the last 2 elections has saddened me...
on how unfair, backwards, upside down, unbalanced, untruthful,
corrupt, and just simply, how wrong the world and "politics" are...

So this year i wanted to get involved and do all i could early...

And i found myself torn...
because this time it’s not that simple...
our choices aren’t as clear as the last elections ...
last time it was so obvious...
Bush and war
vs
no Bush and no war...

But this time it’s not that simple...
and there are a lot of people that are torn just like i am...

So for awhile I put it off and i was going to wait until it was decided for me...

And then came New Hampshire...

And i was captivated...

Inspired...

I reflected on my life...
and the blessings I have...
and the people who fought for me to have these rights and blessings...

and I’m not talking about a "black thing"
I’m talking about a "human thing" me as a "person"
an American...

That speech made me think of Martin Luther King...
Kennedy...
and Lincoln...
and all the others that have fought for what we have today...

what America is "supposed" to be...

freedom...
equality...
and truth...

and thats not what we have today...
we think we are free...
but in reality terror and fear controls our decisions...

Kitchen tools: oil spray pump

2008-02-05T08:29:00.000-05:00

I've been using an oil spray pump for a long while now - I switched from Pam to avoid both the waste of the empty cans and the many ingredients added to help it spray and keep it from spoiling. In my experience, though, pump sprays are notoriously mediocre, spraying in clumps rather than mists, and never for as long as I'd like between pumping. Still, small prices to pay for a reusable container that sprays nothing but the pure oil of my choice.

After five or six years, my last pump finally pumped its last. After a bit of looking around, I came across the Cuisipro Spray Pump at Extra Ingredient. At $14, it was more than I had paid for my last one, but after using it for the first time this morning, I think it was well worth the few extra dollars.

Amazingly enough, it does, in fact, mist, and has an easy pump action. It's a little thing, but in my experience, a few good, essential kitchen tools can be the difference between a pleasant cooking experience and a painful one. For a dramatic example, spend a week using a relatively dull utility knife before switching to a sharp chef's knife - you'll know exactly what I mean.

Stone Mountain State Park

2008-02-04T08:45:00.000-05:00

Rob and I have always joked that we like nature... as long as we can see it through the windshield of our car. But his photography, and our desire to find exercise that doesn't feel like a torturous waste of time, has led us to fall in love with hiking in recent months. It doesn't hurt that there are a mass of trails within a five-mile radius of our house.

So, we jumped at the chance to hike in Stone Mountain State Park with our vastly more hiking-savvy friend, Courtney, this past weekend. We chose the longest loop on the map - at 4.5 miles, we thought even we could keep up, though the map did call it a strenuous trail. As it turned out, most of what made it strenuous were the dozens (upon dozens upon dozens) of stairs, many of which seemed to be newly installed, leading to and back down from the summit of the mountain, a relatively smooth rock face that seemed impossible for rock climbing though we saw nearly a dozen climbers making their way up.

We also saw deer - deer that had clearly lived their entire lives in a sanctuary where humans had shot them with nothing more than cameras. They looked up at us from where they grazed, completely unconcerned that we were a few short yards away.

In all, we think we ended up hiking around seven miles, once we had taken a couple of detours, including one to reach the top of the waterfall. We also spent plenty of time just enjoying the surroundings- jumping from rock to rock so Rob could take this picture:

and sitting at the pockmarked summit surrounded by shallow pools of rainwater. We left wondering when the three of us could make the time to rent a cabin there so we could spend a few days exploring the other trails and the vast untouched areas.

The first photo shows a technique Rob is playing with - I love the drama of it! I'll be sure to let you know if/when he posts most pictures from this hike on his blog, Life through the Rectangle.

The sound of the anti-war movement

2008-02-03T12:37:00.000-05:00

Being somewhere in the middle of the spectrum from "Inter-what?" to "Coding guru," I've wanted to post a song here for a while but never quite figured out how. The song is "Too Many Puppies," off Primus's first album, Frizzle Fry, which, ironically (for reasons you're about to hear) was released in February 1990, several months before the start of the first Gulf War.

This is just a clip, but I hope it inspires you to download or otherwise seek out the entire song:

Lyrics:

Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spilled
so that we may maintain our oil fields.

Too many puppies(x2)
Too many puppies are taught to heel.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.

On the command of men wearing money belts
that buy mistresses sleek animal pelts.

Too many puppies.(x4)
Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.

Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
Placed upon the war machine.

Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
Too many puppies, too many dead men.

The funniest thing I've seen in a while

2008-02-01T12:11:00.000-05:00

And truly off-color, as is Sarah Silverman's strong suit. Don't watch if you don't like naughty:

Rethinking productivity

2008-02-01T08:26:00.000-05:00

2007 was my year of uber-productivity, with undue amounts of time spent thinking of how I could cram more work into each and every day. And while I made great progress in my personal and professional lives in '07, I also noticed some nasty side-effects, like having a harder time really enjoying downtime, because I was always nagged by the work I could have been doing.

So when Rob and I started our New Year planning on January 1, I added a goal of redefining productivity in the hopes of finding the balance between quantity of work and quality of life. Nevertheless, when Tuesday rolled around this week, all I wanted to do was get back in bed, maybe read a little, definitely get some more snooze time in... but having not yet achieved my redefinition goal, I instead forced myself to sit at my desk until 4:30, pecking away at work, most of which will likely end up in the sad "never to be completed" file on my C: drive. But, for the sake of consistency and discipline, it felt like the right thing to do.

Research conducted by Dr. Roy Baumeister, which I unfortunately didn't read until Wednesday, suggests otherwise. According to him, "self-control might depend on a limited resource — a resource that, like a muscle, depletes during repeated, continuous use."

Like muscles, he says, we can build out capacity for self-control through "regular exertions of self-control," such as getting up at the same time every morning or doing a given task everyday. But, just as even the American Gladiators reach fatigue eventually, self-control resources eventually wear out, requiring down-time: activities that require little focus in order to recharge the stores.

Also interesting is that Baumeister's research further suggests that neither the difficulty nor the importance of the self-control sucking task is relevant to how it depletes the stores - only that self-control is used, as evidenced by a study in which the depletion task was simply to eat only radishes from a plate that held both radishes and chocolate.

It seems that in this case, the adage holds true: slow and steady win the race. Regular exertions of self control coupled with an awareness of fatigue are our best bet for remaining as productive as possible without killing ourselves.

Lazy woman's health food: beets and sweet potatoes

2008-01-31T08:48:00.001-05:00

As happens all too often, my kitchen has a backlog of dirty dishes and, as I confessed to just a couple of posts ago, I was lacking the motivation to do anything about it or cook dinner by the end of the work day yesterday. Fortunately, I had the ingredients for a lazy woman's healthy dinner that took all of 10 minutes of active prep time.

Ingredients:
Beets
White wine vinegar
Sweet potatoes
Yogurt (I prefer Greek, which is increasingly available in grocery stores)
Garlic powder
Salt
Cheese, optional

**I was able to purchase everything but the vinegar, salt and yogurt at the Greensboro Farmers Curb Market and, with the Goat Lady Dairy starting to offer yogurt, the list of grocery store items will soon be even shorter

I scrubbed the beets and wrapped them in foil with a splash of the vinegar, which I think aids the sweetness of the beets. Then, I scrubbed the sweet potatoes, poked holes in them and stuck everything in a 400 degree oven.

Then I read a book for an hour.

Once the sweet potatoes were soft to the touch and the beets could be easily pierced with a knife, I mixed together the yogurt, garlic powder and salt while the beets cooled a little. To avoid pink hands and to buffer the heat, I slapped on some latex gloves and peeled the beets by rubbing them briskly with a paper towel; they were then sliced to roughly 1/4-inch disks... very roughly.

I cut open the potatoes - Rob topped his with cheddar and cinnamon; I stuck a dollop of the yogurt on mine. I divided the rest of the yogurt between our plates and topped with beet slices. I sprinkled the slices with the tiniest bit of kosher salt and tah-dah, a lazy woman's healthy dinner.

The beets are a recipe from one of my favorite cookbooks, Arabesque - they also suggest a drizzle of olive oil which I often do, using Giacomo's brand. It nights like these that make me wonder why I ever fall back on pizza delivery...

Their Eyes Were Watching God

2008-01-31T08:23:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of a nut job when it comes to reading - I'm also kind of a nut job when it comes to wasting time. When combined, I end up overly annoyed if a book is less than spectacular. I think it comes from being constantly aware that there is not a chance that I can possibly read all of the worthwhile literature during my finite time on Earth... but that doesn't stop me from wanting to try...

As a result, I will drop a book if it doesn't grab me within 100 pages (if I can manage the patience to read a book I'm not loving that long) and I almost never read a book more than once, even if I loved it - more fabulous books are awaiting!

I think the fact that I'm so uptight about my reading selections makes it all the more notable that I've read Their Eyes Were Watching God no fewer than three times. And when I read in Sunday's News & Record that Bennett College is hosting two months of programming on this one book, I immediately went out and bought another copy (it seems that my enthusiasm for the work has caused me to "loan" out every copy I've owned).

I have never read anything by Zora Neale Hurston that I wasn't mesmerized by, but Their Eyes is such a dynamic book - each time I read it, I feel differently about the characters, particularly Tea Cake, and the path that Janie takes through her life.

I'm looking forward to diving back in, then joining some of the discussions around town to hear how others react to her journey and Hurston's prose. I truly think it is one of the tragedies of the literary world that Hurston died a pauper, disdained by her peer group, and one of the miracles that Alice Walker revived her legacy so effectively.

Versatile ingredients: polenta

2008-01-29T11:44:00.000-05:00

I was poking through my now defunct food blog, Thought for Food, when I came across a post that I thought deserved updating and revision...

Though I consider cooking to be one of the great pleasures in life (right below eating), I am not immune to the challenges of finding motivation to spend an hour or more in the kitchen after a full work day. The fact that my office is a mere staircase away from my kitchen doesn't seem to be much help either.

What does help, though, is having a few versatile pantry ingredients that can be easily paired with anything that happens to be in the fridge. An often overlooked favorite of mine is polenta. This mixture of cornmeal, water or stock and salt can be ready in 15 minutes and paired with everything from spicy Mexican flavors to mellow Mediterranean flavors and everything in between.

There is a lot of flexibility in the basic recipe for polenta, largely depending on how soon you want to eat. To serve two people in 15 minutes, bring 1 1/2 cups water, stock or a combination of the two (you could even use a combination of milk and water for a creamier polenta) to a boil. Whisk in 1/3 of a cup of polenta slowly - if you pour it in too quickly, your cornmeal will clump and you'll be left with a truly inedible mess. Whisk in salt and pepper to taste, along with any other seasonings you like, such as garlic or cayenne pepper. Reduce heat and stir frequently until it thickens to your liking; I prefer my polenta fairly thick, much like a hearty oatmeal.

Now, while the above recipe works well, if you have the extra time, you can achieve a much creamier texture by starting with more liquid, say 4 cups or water and/or stock. Again, whisk in the cornmeal once the liquid comes to a boil and turn the heat to low. Stir frequently. If the polenta thickens before you're ready to serve, whisk in more liquid (preferably warm liquid) and keep going - you can keep a pot of polenta on the stove for most of the day if you're vigilant about stirring every 15 minutes or so, and adding liquid as needed. The cornmeal grains will absorb the liquid and plump, leaving you with a smooth texture, as compared to the more grits-like texture of the quick recipe.

Once you have your basic polenta recipe made, you can top it with just about anything you have available.

For a Mexican twist, spread the polenta in a baking dish and top with taco meat (leftovers work great here) and Jack or Colby cheese, then bake in a 350 degree oven until the cheese melts, about 15 minutes. Serve with taco toppings like shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes and avocado or black olives.

To incorporate Mediterranean flavors, spoon polenta onto a plate and top with a quick, chunky tomato sauce made by sautéing chopped sweet onion, garlic and red and/or yellow bell peppers in olive oil until crisp-tender. Stir in a 28 oz can of diced tomatoes, 2 Tb of tomato paste, a pinch of red pepper flakes (if you like a little heat) and a large splash of white wine and simmer until heated through, about 20 minutes. Stir in chopped kalamata olives and top with feta cheese.

Or make a quick polenta "lasagna" by spreading the cooked polenta into a baking dish and topping with jarred tomato sauce and whatever else you like in lasagna: cooked meat, mozzarella and/or Parmesan cheese and sauteed veggies of any variety. Again, bake just until the cheese is melted, about 15 minutes in a 350 oven.

But my all-time favorite polenta topper, and an amazingly healthy meal, is sauteed greens. I sauté sliced garlic and onion (it will maintain its texture better if you slice it vertically, from root to stem) in olive oil, then add chopped sundried tomatoes, golden raisins, red pepper flakes and washed torn greens - any combination of kale, chard, mustard or turnip greens. Cover and let greens steam, stirring frequently. It should take less than 10 minutes for the greens to cook down enough, depending on the time of year and age of the greens (baby greens being more delicate and therefore cooking much more quickly). Season to taste with salt and pepper, then serve on a plate of polenta and, if you like, top with shredded Parmesan, Pecorino Romano or feta cheese.

Because it has a relatively neutral flavor and is so easy to prepare, polenta is a great jumping off point for a variety of meals.

A final word to the wise: you can spend a bundle on the boxes of cornmeal called polenta, or you can buy a bag of coarsely ground cornmeal and have this dish for pennies per serving.

Functional dreaming

2008-01-28T08:48:00.000-05:00

The November/December issue of Psychology Today offers a story on a new theory of the function of dreams: to help us learn reactions to danger that are only helpful if executed instinctively. For example, back in our cavepeople days, there was a split second between being eaten by the saber-toothed tiger and getting away, so stopping to think about it was, well, problematic. As we, and the dangers we face, have evolved, our dreams have tried to keep pace, the theory goes. When monsters enter our dreams, it's because our brains are confusing the real dangers and those we cull from film and television.

I thought the theory was interesting when I read it, but this past week it became even more personally relevant... I'm not sure why, but for years, I've had a pattern of remembering dreams intensely for a week or two out of the year; the other 351 nights, it's blissful nothingness.

Oddly, this has been a week of car-based bad dreams: two involved being stuck in cars with people I am either uncomfortable with or have had spectacular fallings-out with and at least two involved the threat of being pulled by the cops, though the blue lights flashed in neither. Now that I think about it, it's not so odd that they've all been set in cars. Though I haven't had a particularly bad auto-based experience (except a couple of speeding tickets) in years, cars were once little cages - my dad's favorite spot for "heart-to-hearts" during the 20 minute drive to the house where he lived when I was a kid - and the spot where two of the less nice people in my past acted on their less nice impulses.

The theory didn't offer an explanation for the function of pleasant dreams - perhaps they're considered less relevant or even flukes since research suggests two-thirds of dreams are of the scary sort. Or maybe they have the same function, but preparing us for spur-of-the-moment positive experiences - after all, what 15-year-old boy wouldn't want to know exactly what to say to Niki Taylor should she unexpectedly appeared in their room craving teen flesh?

Taking the political "dialogue" to a new low

2008-01-24T17:48:00.000-05:00

Please, oh please, tell me that a 13-year-old boy came up with this 527, or someone who is mocking the political process - and not people who actually think they're contributing to the state of politics...

War crimes trial now?

2008-01-23T09:03:00.000-05:00

From the AP:

A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements "were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses."

1) Why aren't Bush and his lackeys in the brig somewhere this very moment?
2) What is it going to take to make that happen?
3) Who are the sheep who still think he's a good president?!?

Investing in the future of Judaism

2008-01-23T08:47:00.000-05:00

Though every single one of my great-grandparents were Eastern European Jews, the closest I came to dating within my religion was a guy with one Jewish parent and a quasi-agnostic upbringing. I wasn’t avoiding Jewish prospects – there were none. Sure, there were perfectly lovely kids in my Jewish elementary school who grew up to be quite attractive adults, but after the playground scuffles and awkward teen years, I may as well have dated cousins as any of them.

In fact, for most Jews outside of major cities, it’s often a choice between dating outside the home market or outside the faith. For me, it was a no-brainer; though it was always important to me that my dating partners, and now my husband, respect my Jewish heritage, it was never important to me that they share it.

So now I am part of the statistic stating that nearly half of all American Jews have non-Jewish spouses. For decades, Jewish leaders have been concerned that marriages like mine might lead to the eventual disappearance of Judaism if we choose our spouses’ religion over our own, a relevant concern for a group that constitutes roughly 0.2 percent of the world’s population.

It is this concern, at least in part, that has inspired rabbis across the country to team up with the popular Jewish Internet dating service, JDate, as reported in last week’s Newsweek. Though I am clearly seen as part of the problem, I can understand where they’re coming from. As Yiddish and Klezmer music threaten to vanish with my grandparents’ generation, it’s hard not to be a little concerned about the future of our culture.

Do I harbor any feelings of guilt for my marital choice? Not a one.

You see, I think the issue at hand is not that I was married in a secular ceremony rather than under a chuppah. I think the issue is what I choose to do with my Jewish identity once settled into married life. Even more to the point, I think the issue is whether I would raise my children Jewish.

With only pets for kids, the question remains rhetorical, but even before my marriage vows, even before I met my husband, my answer was, and is, a resounding yes. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my older siblings, who are both in interfaith marriages, are raising their children with strong Jewish identities. In fact, it may just be that my nieces and nephews benefit from having a non-Jewish parent who acts as a constant reminder that we live in a diverse world, and that we can be firmly rooted in our own beliefs and cultures without demeaning others.

So, the question remains: how do we create that sense of investment in the future of Judaism?

I think we must start by accepting that a percentage of the population has permanently abandoned the notion that shared religion is a prerequisite to marriage. And then we must create opportunities to learn Yiddish and to experience Jewish music, literature and arts. Most importantly, we must create a space in which disconnected Jews – regardless of who, or even if, they marry – can fill the gaps in their Jewish knowledge, helping them get over the discomfort of having forgotten their Hebrew school lessons and inviting them to create new traditions of their own.

I may have a gentile as my partner, but I have a mezuzah on my door. The beauty of modernity is that one needn’t diminish the other.

The elitism of food

2008-01-21T07:17:00.000-05:00

Epi-Log, the Epicurious.com blog, has an interesting post about the elitism of healthy food. It's an issue that comes up frequently, though a little reluctantly, among local foods/whole food devotees. The reluctance comes largely because there is significant overlap in the population who commits to food-based activism and the population who is interested in other kinds of social activism - it was no coincidence that the raise-the-minimum-wage activists were stationed outside the farmers' market to collect signatures for their petition. It's a group of people that is enormously uncomfortable with the idea that they might be acting in elitist ways.

But the sad truth is that unhealthy food is so artificially inexpensive - made so by corn subsidies which allows chicken nuggets to be sold for less than it costs to grow/raise its component ingredients - that healthy food is only available to those of us with a more comfortable standard of living. To make matters worse, a drive through East Greensboro will demonstrate that there are fast food joints on every corner and barely a single grocery selling fresh produce.

The solution is as Megan O. writes in her post:

I agree with Pollan that those of us who can afford to pay more for real food and support our local farmers need to do so... And we need to get behind legislation that will even the playing field between giant, heavily subsidized agribusiness companies making faux food and small farmers growing real food. Gussow added, "We need to learn that food costs money and then pay people a living wage so they can afford it."

Amen.

Dutch e-commerce

2008-01-17T22:07:00.000-05:00

You needn't know the language to get a kick out of this great site - just wait for it...

The fairytale of Clinton's slam

2008-01-16T06:57:00.000-05:00

I cracked open the latest Newsweek this morning and was disappointed to see that their Conventional Wisdom section is perpetuating the myth that Bill Clinton called Obama's campaign a fairy tale.

As recorded in the Congressional Quarterly and reported by Media Matters for America, what Clinton actually referred to as a fairytale was Obama's claims that he was against the war from the jump - still fighting words, but hardly the blind and condescending slam the media is reporting it to be.

Rob sometimes jokes about racism, sexism, etc, that he can think of plenty of reasons to dislike people other than their ethnicity, gender, age or whatever. I think the same can be said here: there are plenty of reasons to criticize the Clintons other than comments taken wildly out of context.

Yet again, way to go, media.

The Heart Crusher

2008-01-14T07:21:00.000-05:00

Practically since the day the book was released, people have been telling me that I must read Khaled Hosseini's runaway hit, The Kite Runner. I think the remainders of my teenage rebellion have all been filtered into my reaction to suggestions like that, though, because the more people tell me I should read or watch or listen to something, the less I want to do so. It's a weird sort of snobbery, I suppose.

But I finally gave in when one more friend said: "I'm reading it now and loving it. He's a great storyteller."

I didn't just read it - I devoured it in roughly four sittings. And then I wrote back to that friend with a "fuck you" - my apologies to my cursing-averse readers, but there's no other way to say it. She was right - Hosseini is an amazing storyteller - clearly, I could not put down the book. But I spent those 371 pages wondering why I was punishing myself with the images of such horror.

After the first horrific episode, child on child violence (I truly can't think of anything worse than sociopathic children torturing other children), I didn't for a second imagine that the worst was not over; I thought the rest of the novel would be the internal battle of a person recovering from that one horror. But no. There was so much more. And I had to know - had to believe that there would be some glimmer of hope in the end and truly, that was all there was - a glimmer.

I suppose it's a strange sort of compliment to Hosseini that the characters and plot were so real to me that I literally sobbed when I finally finished the book (right after I let out the breath I had been holding all week) - in Rob's arms, nose running, sobbing. I've been emotionally attached to books before but never reacted like that. Perhaps it was part relief that I was done and didn't have to see if and in what other ways these people would be punished for being alive.

I felt, actually, a lot like I feel after reading the paper some mornings, the wretchedly true accounts of the most awful murders that always leave me wondering why I needed to know that: will it make me safer? Does it help me understand the world better? No, not unless paranoia and a lessened belief in the basic good of humanity are somehow adaptive.

Perhaps the impact of the book lies not in the reality of the characters but in their plausibility - that there truly could be, and likely are, Afghanis who have had similar experiences as their country has been torn apart in the last three decades, a country that, like all countries, had its problems but which were compounded, magnified and turned into nightmares, all under the guise of doing Allah's will. Don't get self-righteous on me, America - we have no room to judge when so many of the atrocities committed on our own soil have been justified by the scriptures of our majority religion.

We'll see if I have it in me to brave the paper this morning... perhaps I'll find myself a lovely, giggly Tom Robbins book and attempt (with futility, I'm sure) to empty my mind of the images Hosseini implanted. The downside of brilliant storytelling...

Carousel a pleasant idea but...

2008-01-09T07:43:00.001-05:00

The moments when individuals are compelled to come together for the good of the whole are magical, exemplifying what America can be when we look up from our own lives. It’s part of what makes fundraising walks so invigorating.

It seems that the philanthropically-minded business community of Greensboro is feeling similarly compelled as the plans for the downtown carousel develop. Originally proposed by Bernie Mann, immediate past president of the Greensboro Rotary Club, the carousel will be housed in an enclosure in the downtown cultural district. Mann seemed so enchanted as he spoke of the carousel’s “charm and light that are expressive of the community” that I was sure I could hear buoyant carousel music in the background.

His contagious enchantment has inspired every Rotary Club in Greensboro to commit to the project, as well as the Nat Greene Kiwanis club. Between the Joseph M. Bryan Foundation and monies raised by the Greensboro Rotary Club, $250,000 of the estimated $2 million needed has already been raised. “And we haven’t even reached out to other clubs locally,” said Mann.

I am charmed by the idea: an all-wood carousel featuring moments and figures of Greensboro history. I’m charmed by Mann’s picture of children riding the carousel at a grandparent’s side, and the hope of further exposure for a part of downtown that has been on the outskirts of the recent growth spurt. But since I read the most recent article in the News & Record (“Clubs climb aboard carousel project,” Jan. 3), my more pragmatic side has been nagging me.

I can’t help it. When I read stories of our increasing crime rate and Mitchell Johnson’s search for $500,000 to beef up our police force, when I see a noticeable increase in panhandlers on the corners of our city, when I learn of the deficits in food banks in Greensboro and across the country, I can’t help but feel that $2 million dollars could be better spent, that it could truly “improve life in [the club’s] community” as is listed in Rotary International’s “Avenues of Service”.

But now I’m sad to hear the oompah music fade... It could certainly be argued that life in the community would be improved beyond recreational pleasure if the carousel did draw more families downtown and if those families did stay for dinner or perhaps a play, and if that lead to more growth, creating more jobs, and so on and so forth.

As so often happens, this boils down to a matter of perspective, in this case our perspective on what we believe constitutes community service and what we think Greensboro needs.

“The role of civic clubs is to do things for the community that the community would love to have but can’t quite afford, that extra layer of wonderful, terrific things that help to make the quality of life that much better,” said Mann.

When it comes to art, theater and other forms of creative expression, I am 100 percent onboard with Mann’s definition; in these cases, I see not only the inherent pleasure, but also the pragmatic use of art as a medium to help us communicate across all ethnic, socioeconomic, educational or gender boundaries. Perhaps my vision of carousels is marred by the shark-jump that was the Carolina Circle Mall carousel, but I just don’t see this downtown venture justifying the price tag, not when a woman on the corner of Elm St. and Cone Blvd. is begging for food for her children.

A writer's responsibility

2008-01-08T09:20:00.000-05:00

By all accounts and all rationale, a writer should simultaneously be mindful of their audience and ignore them - creative writers and journalists, that is. (Naturally, every piece of PR I write is specifically crafted in the hopes it will appeal to the readers.) We want to write books, articles and so on that people will enjoy reading - hopefully even pay to read - but we cannot become so enmeshed in what they would want to read that we limit ourselves.

Steven King, in his book On Writing, talks about imagining your ideal reader and their reactions to things. My mom, who edits everything I attempt to publish, is the person who inevitably pops into my mind. She is a discerning reader with a thoughtful perspective, analytical mind and eye for details like the sound and flow of words, and so is a wonderful editor to have on my side. But though I feel free to curse a blue streak in front of her and share almost every detail of my life with her, there are still the usual limitations of the mother/daughter relationship.

For example, my own experiences with abuse naturally appear in my writing frequently. On my list of things to write are both a novel based around an abusive relationship and a non-fiction book that explores some of the lesser discussed aspects of abuse, like forgiveness afterwards and situations in which men are on the receiving end of abuse. But with my mom as my ideal reader, I frequently find pause in wondering how it will impact her - after all, though I was the one in the relationship, she suffered greatly for my decisions. To this day, I can't imagine what it was like for her to drive up to find our home surrounded by emergency vehicles.

Alternately, but equally vexing, is writing about sex. Not that any erotica is on my to-write list but any piece of writing about romantic relationships is eventually going to touch on sex if given enough time and word count. But they're doing what at the end of their date? And my mom is reading it?!?

I know: I'm closing in on my 30th birthday and am a monogamously married woman - it's probably time to stop pretending any sort of innocence about bedroom activities. But, c'mon, it's my mommy...

DC lobby... of the hotel variety

2008-01-06T11:56:00.000-05:00

For the next hour or so, I will be camped out in the lobby of a DC hotel where I have spent the weekend with my friend/colleague Tamara. While she has attended a conference, I have alternately puttered around the area and holed up in our room to work on writing projects that often get thrown to the wayside in the face of life-as-usual.

Though I miss Rob and enjoyed Tamara's company in the evenings, I do find alone time in an unfamiliar city enormously appealing. I love setting out on my own to wander in circles; yesterday, I walked for miles, past several Starbucks, until I found an independent coffee shop with couches of brightly colored broken-in leather. They played muzak versions of popular rock songs, though at a volume that is normally reserved for actual rock. I also treated myself to a lunch of truly spectacular sushi at Sake Club, where I used my chopsticks clumsily while attempting to read a book (it is a book on personalities according to the Myers-Briggs, though I have found myself overly self-conscious because the title, Please Understand Me, suggests a self-help book, though I'm still not sure why I would care if strangers think I'm reading a self-help book).

After her day's sessions ended, Tamara and I wandered within a mile radius of our hotel, stopping for gin and tonics at an empty bar with an excellent jazz band, then onto an Ethiopian restaurant (make your own off-color joke about food in underfed Ethiopia) and dessert at yet another restaurant, where we were help captive for more than an hour by a waitress who refused to believe that we could not finish our buttery, rich sweets.

I'm looking forward to getting home tonight, to see my sweet and hunky hubby and our gaggle of pets, sleep in my own bed and jump feet first into this year for which I have so much hope and so many expectations. So far, it's off to a great start.

What the world eats

2008-01-03T08:07:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me an email with images from Time Magazine, demonstrating what a typical family eats in a typical week depending on where they live. As my friend pointed out, keep an eye both on what is on the table and the number of people in the family.

Let's start with an NC family (I really hope they're not typical but in the world according to Time...):

Okay, now how about our neighbors to the South, a Mexican family:
So, more fresh fruit and veggies, though still plenty of junk food.

Now let's look at Egypt (I have an Egyptian friend - not an American with Egyptian heritage but a guy whose wife and kids live in Egypt though he works in America 9 months each year - who loves nothing more than french fry sandwiches):
Maybe my friend isn't terribly representative. There's some junk on this table but in splurge proportions, particularly considering how many people this food is feeding.

This is where it really starts blowing my mind, though - an Ecuadorian family:
And (are you sitting?) a family from Chad:
Now I'm curious to see exactly what Rob and I eat in a week. As healthfully as we eat at home, I suspect our too-frequent meals out would skew our table uncomfortably. What would interest me even more would be to compare our table to one from East Greensboro where produce is at a minimum but fast food joints are on every corner.

Either way, I'm reminded yet again of how lucky I am to have a fridge I can replenish at my leisure with foods I can feel good about eating...

Planning to succeed

2007-12-27T06:55:00.000-05:00

This is the second column in the three years I've been writing for the News & Record that was deemed not-quite-right for the editorial pages. I'll take those odds.

I began this year with a column about how my husband, Rob, and I abandoned New Year’s resolutions in favor of a roadmap of goals, both professional and personal, to guide us through 2007. As I predicted in the column, we did not achieve the many goals we entered into our ridiculously elaborate Microsoft Project flowchart, both because we were overly ambitious in some areas, and because other areas became less interesting to us as the year wore on.

But the very act of creating the roadmap was enough to make this a year of unprecedented growth and achievement for both of us.

Mind you, we won no awards this year and we didn’t make our first million. But we did finish painting the interior of our house and delve much more deeply into our individual creative endeavors and even lost a little weight.

Rob and I are now looking forward to another New Year’s Eve brainstorming session to outline our hopes for 2008, which we plan to execute with a couple of minor modifications to our system.

First, I’m done with Microsoft Project. While a truly useful piece of software, it’s overly elaborate for our needs and I have neither the expertise to fully utilize it nor the desire to garner that expertise. Most likely, we’ll use OneNote which organizes information intuitively and will allow us to drop in any relevant digital materials, everything from Web pages to photo thumbnails, sketches and documents created in other programs.

We are also updating our check-in system. For the first few months of ’07, we sat down in front of our full Project flowchart each week to note any progress we made. But continuously seeing these lofty goals became overwhelming and our meetings petered out.

This year, we are borrowing an idea from our friend and colleague, Tamara McLendon, who has created an accountability system. Each week, Tamara identifies personal and professional micro-goals. For example, instead of the macro-goal of engaging X number of new clients over the course of the year, Tamara will commit to two networking meetings that week. Additionally, Tamara associates a pain, as she puts it, to failing to complete her weekly goals, which generally involves taking away something she wants, like an afternoon of reading at a coffee shop.

Like macro-goals, micro-goals should be achievable while also being ambitious enough to be challenging. Micro-goals should contribute to macro-goals, even if in incremental ways, and be specific enough to act as a guideline. So, for example, if one of my macro-goals is to keep my house tidier, then a weekly micro-goal of doing at least 30 minutes of housework five days a week is not only appropriately strenuous yet achievable, but its specificity will ensure that cleaning is a continuous and easy process; otherwise, I will procrastinate until I’m forced to do all 2 ½ hours of cleaning the night before my accountability meeting, or, more likely, simply fail to achieve that goal and be subject to the consequence du jour.

I must close with a word of warning: While a little self-imposed pressure can be just the thing to turn an aspiration into action, pushing yourself too hard can lead to overwhelmed inaction with the potential to derail aspirations for good.

As the neighborhood parent who occasionally drove me to elementary school would say, “Work hard and play hard.” Life’s too short not to aggressively pursue dreams, but it would be a mighty shame if those dreams became chores in the process.

Carbon on tour

2007-12-20T08:18:00.000-05:00

My pals and yours, the ever gloomy and brilliant Radiohead, apparently hired a British company to analyze the carbon and ecological footprint of touring, including the impact of their fans traveling to the show.

While Radiohead says the report is tentative - just the beginning of the research they plan to do - they've already agreed to make changes to reduce their footprint, including sea freighting their gear, which is apparently 93% more efficient than air freighting. They've also asked fans to consider carpooling or using public transportation.

Activism is a frequent topic on the Radiohead site, so this move isn't entirely a surprise, but hopefully it will be instructive to the rest of the music industry, much like their recent In Rainbows release (despite the controversy).

Now, if we could just get Thom to smile...

Will blog for customers

2007-12-20T07:20:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking more and more about the marketing potential of blogs. It's not a terribly new concept - using the random blog browse on Blogger, I've run into a handful of blogs as online stores. But it seems to me that artisans and smaller businesses could run free (excepting time and energy) marketing campaigns by starting a blog and linking it to as many aggregators as possible - or as are useful to the business.

For example, my buddy James, who I mentioned in my last column, is a metal artist - he makes decorative pieces, towel racks, candle holders, water art (think sprinklers but really gorgeous and intended more for beauty than functionality - he has one that's a ballerina with a metal mesh skirt - beautiful!). Though he's been working with metal for decades, he's just starting the business side of it and has no budget for any sort of advertising.

But a blog... he could post pictures of his latest creations and of himself working in his shop, posts about the (lighter) technical details of working with metal, of the contraptions he builds in order to work with metal, his inspiration for different pieces and even his musings as he works - and he is a guy with some seriously interesting musings.

I think a similar strategy would work for smaller businesses, like Rioja!/Wine Warehouse (they're owned by the same people). I was at Rioja! for happy hour yesterday, where I was again impressed by how knowledgeable and friendly the staff is (Jake, who explained to me a little of the growing conditions that lead to the wines I tend to like) and how relaxed and comfortable the atmosphere is. The same goes for the Wine Warehouse where I have never left without a wonderful recommendation and where I have never felt at all uncomfortable demonstrating my lack of knowledge about wines or asking for an inexpensive bottle.

But they don't advertise, and the vast majority of people to whom I mention Rioja! and Wine Warehouse have never heard of either. Again, a blog could act as a free marketing tool if they connected up with We101 and wrote posts on the latest bottles in, upcoming events, light technical info about wines (such as why some wines are so tanniny or how ice wines are produced), wine pairing tips and perhaps even the occasional wine-friendly recipe.

I think the things to keep in mind with a marketing-focused blog would be:

Give 'em what they want to read. Blog marketing will only work if people have a reason to come back time and again, and if you spend the whole blog being too technical or too braggy or anything like that, people won't bookmark you.
Post regularly. I think that for really specific blogs, like either of the above examples, people could get away with posting as little as once a week, as long as those posts are fairly substantive. But nothing turns me off faster than a blog on a business Web site that hasn't been updated for months.
Choose aggregators wisely. Both of the above examples would do well to connect with We101 because both are focused on a local target market. But when looking at other aggregators, remember that talking to other artisans or wine store owners is nice, but not a way to build business. Find your potential customer market and sculpt the content to appeal to them.
Take it seriously. Don't post when you roll in from the bar at 2am on Saturday. Treat it like a part of your workday, with the same attention to detail, particularly grammar and spelling, that you would a print ad you were paying thousands for. Use spell check; ask a coworker to give a look before posting if you can. And please, oh please, use polite language. Even if a wine does have some ass to it (my phrase, not culled from anyone at Rioja! or Wine Warehouse) think of a better way to say it.

Escaping abuse

2007-12-19T06:39:00.000-05:00

I spent some time yesterday with a woman who has recently extracted herself from an abusive relationship. Just a few weeks out and she's already talking about it, which to me, shows bravery and resilience. It's also shows me that she's not dwarfed by the taboos suggesting domestic violence should be kept hush hush, even though she did, of course, protect her abuser for many years.

What seems to be haunting her most are the well-meant people who cannot understand why she would care at all about him anymore. She, like me and so many others, fell in love with a person with a rough history and low self-esteem. We think we can love them so much, they will eventually love themselves.

That's the change abused women talk about - not that we'll get them to stop hitting, but that they'll stop hitting because we've finally been able to show them their value, which will heal them of their self-doubt and self-hate. There are a dozen reasons why abused women go back after a violent bout, but one that cannot be discounted - and all too often is by people who, fortunately, just haven't been there - is that we truly and sincerely love the good things we see peaking through the monster. That doesn't turn off over night for abused women any more than it does for anyone else going through a break-up.

The love is also the answer to the question she and most of us asked, "What is wrong with me for staying, and for so long?" The mistake we made was not in loving them, or doing what we could to make the relationship work or any of the other things that with a non-abusive person would lead to a healthy, happy relationship. The mistake we made was thinking that our safety and happiness are necessary, and even worthwhile, sacrifices in the name of that love.

Finally, the trust issue. I heard myself in on the other side of a conversation 11 years ago when she asked me how she will learn to trust men again. The only answer I know is: one teeny-tiny step at a time. After the first argument I had with the first person I dated after my abusive relationship, I drove home watching the rear-view mirror, convinced that he would follow me home to hurt me. But, of course, he didn't because he was being a jerk, not a psychopath.

She is already leagues ahead of most women just weeks out of abuse. She has a lot of healing to do, and she needs to be extra vigilant during a time that is statistically the most dangerous time for an abused woman. But I'm guessing that sooner than later, she will looking people the the eyes again, and letting them truly see her beautiful face.

Googletastic

2007-12-18T15:02:00.000-05:00

Rob and I tend to do a mid-season Hannumas gift exchange. Actually, we're both on the impatient side (more for giving the gifts we've purchased than receiving, though we like that an awful lot, too) so we tend to exchange gifts at our earliest convenience after we finally purchase them (we're also procrastinators).

Among other things, Rob gave me Google: The Missing Manual. That's right: 440 pages of pure Google optimization. And yes, that's right: I am a total nerd because I did practically jump up and down when I unwrapped it. Nerd is the new super-cool-ninja, though, so I don't feel too weird about it. (Don't tell the ninja v. pirate people, though, or there will be all sorts of opposition rallies and nunchuck fighting and "ahoy mateys" and all that brouhaha.)

Anyway, I tend to fail miserably whenever I announce on my blog that I'm going to do anything with regularity. (Exhibit 1: This week in the CSA bag seems to have lasted one whole post.) So, while I would like to share the creme de la creme of this book as I read it, I'd like to offer the warning that now, 37 pages in, may be the last time you hear about this. Oh, and this stuff might be totally obvious to you but it never occurs to me to do nifty stuff like read the Google search tips.

Now that my ridiculously verbose intro is out of the way, this is what I've learned so far:

It's better to ask for info in the form of an answer rather than a question. For example, if you want to know what size dress Marilyn Monroe wore, it is better to type "Marilyn Monroe wore size * dress" - if you ask as a question, you'll likely find message board with people who wonder the same thing but perhaps no answers
You can search within number ranges by using two periods. For example, If you want to know what Marilyn was up to between 1945 and 1955, search: 1945..1955 "Marilyn Monroe" and it will pop up answers that include Marilyn and anything within that date range, including the starting and ending years. This isn't just for dates, but any number range.
You can exclude results with certain keywords by inserting a minus before the excluded term. So if you want to know about Marilyn but are holding some strange grudge against Joe DiMaggio, just search: "Marilyn Monroe" -"Joe DiMaggio" (with a space before the minute but not between the minus and they keyword)
And, finally, if you're super-nerdy like me and think it would be nifty to have stats about who is searching for what, like how many people are Googling Marilyn daily, you can use the Google zeitgeist at www.google.com/press/zeitgeist.html.

More later... perhaps... Just for the record, in the Marilyn v. Bettie Page debate (is there one?) I'm solidly for Bettie... Marilyn just popped into my mind... so darned searchable after all these years...

Survival of the fittest businesses

2007-12-17T16:41:00.000-05:00

So, I may have made it obvious by now that I'm a bit of a customer service... snob? Maybe. Connoisseur? I like that idea better.

Whatever terminology you choose, I have another story for you. In my ongoing battle to have two eyebrows (rather than one long, furry caterpillar stretched above my eyes), I occasionally have my brows waxed, generally at one of those inexpensive nail salons that sometimes over-wax, giving me that ever-so-surprised look, but are generally filled with nice employees. Last week, though, I decided to try out a boutique place, the kind of place where I expected to pay a little more but, in return, receive great service and appropriately thick eyebrows.

I won't bore you with the entire story (as I have done to so many friends since last Thursday) but these were the parts of the experience that set off my customer service radar:

No Web site. I know this is picky, but I just don't see how any business in their right mind goes without some sort of Web presence, even if it's just a one-page site with business hours, basic services overview and contact info
A disinterested receptionist answered my initial call and insisted on scheduling an appointment immediately, even though I asked for pricing first
The waxer was 15 minutes late taking me for my appointment, though no other clients of hers came or went while I waited, and waxing generally takes a few minutes per client, depending on what area is being waxed
The waxer then offered no apology, explanation or even acknowledgment that she was late
She then left the door to the waxing room open; granted, it was just eyebrows but I never mind privacy when I'm crying in the name of beauty
A woman, who I now assume is an owner along with the woman waxing me, came to the door and the two proceeded to have a business conversation - including a discussion about blowing off a vendor - while I was being waxed
As I was leaving, the receptionist offered me a frequent waxer card which I turned down (because, of course, I won't be returning) and though she looked perplexed, she didn't ask me why

The inglorious end to this dually painful visit was that I had left my wallet at home and so had to return later to pay. Always fun.

My big debate, once the fiasco was complete, was whether I should give the business my feedback. An opinionated and business-minded friend offered an interesting perspective: businesses should be subject to natural selection, just like the rest of us. So, she gives feedback to businesses that she's invested in in some way - either they're generally great at what they do but have slipped up in one or two areas, or she just likes them for whatever reason. Businesses that are perpetually mediocre or she just doesn't like, she keeps her feedback to herself because she feels they are simply a substandard business and should run their course, eventually leaving the market more open for competitors who do a better job.

I see her point... and won't be filling out any customer satisfaction surveys for them... it's just too bad that my eyebrows look fabulous.

Instructive forgiveness

2007-12-16T09:42:00.000-05:00

MAYANGE, Rwanda - The late afternoon sun gleams off the tin roofs of this small farming village, as neighbors Xavier Nemeye and Cecile Mukagasana watch their children play tag around the banana trees. The two friends were born here and share much of Mayange's daily life. They talk every day, pray at the same church and send their children to the same school, the only one there is.

They are also both recovering from the genocide just 13 years ago - when he hacked to death six of her friends with a machete.

Now, let's read that again: "when he hacked to death six of her friends with a machete."

Amazingly, it was a relatively straightforward government (with donors) project that transformed bitter enemies into friends. The idea is based on the premise that peace and prosperity are reliant upon one another. Or, in other words, when people have enough money to meet their basic needs - in this case $75 per person per year - there is no fuel to feed simmering intergroup tensions. Or, in Xavier's words, "If your stomach is empty, you will have to think of ways to fill it, and that will lead to disruption."

Meanwhile, Cecile, who once dreamed of exacting revenge on the man who personally and horrendously killed her friends, came to recognize that Xavier was a cog in the wheel of the Rwandan genocide. She found forgiveness and even friendship as she worked along side him building their village.

As I read this article, I couldn't help but think of a another I read earlier last week, about the abolition of the death penalty in New Jersey. A woman, whose husband was murdered by a death row inmate (whose sentence has now been commuted to life imprisonment), seethed that she wouldn't get her blood. And though I can empathize with her pain and need for some sort of resolution, it struck me as so sad that she had placed all of her hope for such in the death of the perpetrator. I suspect that had he been executed, she would still have not found that peace.

I am not suggesting we build villages in the U.S. to help prisoners make peace with their victims but, as Rwanda's innovative approach to avoiding the 10 year genocide cycle (wherein, according to the article, "most African civil wars re-ignite within 10 years of a cease-fire.") shows, it is insanity to think we can do the same thing time and again and get different results.

The death penalty was reinstated in the US in 1976 and yet our homicide numbers continue to grow. We have impoverished people in the US - granted, not anywhere near the scale or severity of poverty in Rwanda or other third world countries, but still, people who have to spend most of their time figuring out what they will eat next. We have neighborhoods across the country that are so unstable that its residents are in perpetual fear.

We have to reconsider forgiveness, and where the beautiful individuality that America affords stops and caring for our communities begins.

P.S. Rwanda now has the largest percentage of women in elected offices in the world. Just some food for thought.

P.P.S. I received an email this weekend from a woman who wanted to know if Del Ray Wilson, Jr. had been executed for killing his wife, Rebecca Ann, last December. I find that kind of reader mail so unnerving...

Just Your Typical, Run-of-the-Mill Christmas Story

2007-12-12T19:15:00.001-05:00

My high school friend, Dena Light, is an Emmie-award winning producer at Animax Entertainment. This is their holiday card:

Made anywhere but China

2007-12-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

I received an email today from a husband and wife team that responds to my N&R columns fairly frequently. A thoughtful and well-spoken duo, they often add a perspective I hadn't considered, or provide ever-so-kind atta-girls when I've really poured my heart onto the page.

Their email today added another reason to motivate conscientious shopping: the China factor. Naturally, I realized I missed this essential and timely point a couple of days after I sent my column to my editor… but with a limited word count, it was probably for the best.

Be that as it may, these readers have opted to boycott Chinese made products for the obvious safety reasons. They noted that others have mentioned similar boycotts to them and wonder:

How many people are on this campaign and how important is this to our country?

It's a good, and multi-faceted question. How many people truly are attempting to de-China-fy their consumer purchases? How possible is it without creating an entire lifestyle of shopping? And what would it mean for our economy, nationally and locally, were more people to truly take up the cause?

While shopping for holiday gifts this year, I put back several kids' toys because they were made in China. Time and again, I picked up a toy, scanned the box and returned it to a shelf… until…

It's true, I admit it. I bought a China-made toy for my great-niece - a bilingual driving toy.

Once the internal debate was had (not that it's over by a long shot), I remembered that these incremental pieces of citizen activism - the little things we do every day to make the world just a little better - follow the same logic as dieting. When I was younger, I would go on these "diets" and end up gaining weight because I constantly felt deprived and figured that since I was on a diet, I could afford to splurge and have whatever it was I felt deprived of… including stuff I would never eat when not on a diet. As I've gotten old (and a little wiser, I hope), I've changed my eating habits incrementally, starting with visiting the farmers' market more, then weaning myself off diet soda, then ceasing to buy junk food, and so on until I have reached the present, when the majority of my food comes from the farmers' market, I enjoy what I'm eating, I never feel deprived and I'm pleased with my weight.

Now, I’m focusing my attention on our household products. I started with switching from Clorox to Seventh Generation for our kitchen cleaner; now I'm working on finding a low-impact dish soap that we like. And so on.

Avoiding Chinese products is on the list, as is switching to low-impact/low-chemical skin care products, environmentally sound clothing and more. But there's no point in making dramatic wholesale change if it's not sustainable; I'd rather give myself time for lasting change.

So, bravo to these fine readers and all the other amazing people who have taken their citizen activism efforts to the China realm. I'd love to hear more about the resources you've discovered for finding everything you need without resorting to the land of the toxic toys. I will thank you in advance for you efforts now, which will surely make my efforts later even easier and more successful!

A call for conscientious consumerism

2007-12-12T08:40:00.000-05:00

By the time you read this, the last of the Hanukkah wrapping paper will have already been cleaned from living room floors and siren-producing toys will have been rigged for eternal silence. But as with many Jews, my interfaith marriage means that my holiday season is still ramping up for round two: Christmas with my in-laws.

Also like many people, I find myself torn each year between my concern that the meanings of both Hanukkah and Christmas have been distorted by consumerism, and the desire to take advantage of the opportunity to spoil my loved ones with treats. Each year, my family and I debate whether we will buy presents or redirect our monies to charitable causes. Inevitably, we decide on donations and then can't resist treating one another — a cushy pair of hiking socks here, a KitchenAid food grinder there.

The most recent Triad Health Project newsletter reminded me that there is another option: conscientious consumerism. The Guilford County HIV/AIDS support organization has partnered with GiveBackAmerica.org, a Web site that connects major retailers to local charities nationwide; the charities then receive a portion of every purchase made. Target, for example, will donate 2.5 percent of every purchase to THP; Turbo Tax has offered up 5 percent. These percentages then come directly back into our community and the food bank, HIV testing, counseling and other services that THP provides.

If keeping your charitable dollars local isn't a top priority for you, GreaterGood.org has options that will benefit communities in need worldwide. Better known by it component sites — including The Hunger Site, The Breast Cancer Site, The Child Health Site and more — the online store includes everything from clothes to jewelry to household décor, with profits going to everything from free mammograms to rainforest preservation. Additionally, the artisans who produce the products are paid a fair trade wage, making the purchases doubly impactful.

Of course, if supporting artisan works is important to you, look no farther than my favorite spot in Greensboro, the Greensboro Farmers' Curb Market. Between the stalls of hearty winter foods, like greens, eggs and baked goods, are an increasing number of craftspeople. Jewelry, purses, aprons, gourmet teas, pottery, wooden toys and even metal art pounded into existence by my good friend James Quinn are all available at the market. Some products, like the soaps by Mermaid Says, pack an extra punch by being both locally made and environmentally conscious.

There are no distributor fees or overseas shipping in these products, just raw materials and the elbow grease of those who made them. These kinds of purchases not only keep your money in our local economy, but they also personalize gift giving by replacing our typical off-the-rack gifts with one-of-a-kind handcrafted goods.

The gifts I gave for Hanukkah and will give for Christmas are a blend of donations, conscientious consumer products and good, old-fashioned American spending. Had I known about GiveBackAmerica.org a few weeks ago, I likely could have directed all of my holiday shopping through charitable organizations.

One of the joys of this season is treating our friends and family to physical reminders of our affection for them. Still, there's no need to sacrifice the Christmas morning mad dash to the tree (or weeklong eyeballing of the gifts by the menorah) to preserve the bigger picture of giving during the holiday season.

'The pornography of violence'

2007-12-10T15:12:00.000-05:00

There are a couple of movie scenes that have been stuck in my head for years: the scene in which Edward Norton's neo-Nazi character kills an African American man via curb stomping in American History X, and the scene in which Hillary Swank's Brandon Teena is murdered in Boys Don't Cry (I suppose that would be a spoiler if Teena weren't a real person, buried 15 years this month).

But despite the true story underlying Boys Don't Cry, these are movies, featuring actors I've seen in romantic comedies, who donate money to progressive causes and have messy love affairs that my husband gobbles up on gossip blogs. (He just loves celebrity gossip.)

Reporter John Barry has a Newsweek Web Exclusive this week reflecting on another kind of violence that haunts his thoughts: videos of actual torture he watched decades ago. In it, Barry suggests that Jose Rodriguez destroyed videos of CIA torture because it is easy for us to turn a blind eye to such acts when it remains hidden in euphemisms, pretty language that we can debate, like "water boarding." After all, it is pretty much impossible to suggest that drowning is "enhanced interrogation" and not torture.

I'd like to believe that a mass broadcast of the CIA torture tapes would have created such outrage that everyone but the backwoods militiamen would pour into the streets and demand that our leaders relocate their moral centers. But I worry that when movies pack such violent punches - and as we, as a society, allow violence to seep further into all of our forms of entertainment - that images of actual torture will be anticlimactic.

I wonder this as a cynic, someone who has always believed that violent television doesn't make kids violent if parents give appropriate background on fiction versus reality and appropriate versus what-the-hell. Headlines today make me wonder if I have been wrong to doubt... or if, worse yet, morality guidance has fallen from many parental priority lists...

Vocab for rice

2007-12-07T14:11:00.001-05:00

An old high school friend of mine (now an English teacher at Weaver Academy) sent me a link to FreeRice.com today. The site is one of those concepts that is elegant in its simplicity. It offers a multiple choice vocabulary quiz. For each word you correctly define, 20 grains of rice are donated to the United Nations World Food Program - and you get a harder word. For each word you incorrectly define, you get an easier word. The site will even track your top score.

For a geek like me, this site has endless appeal - vocabulary building AND good deeds?!? If I could get Rob to bring me my meals and an occasional glass of wine, I'd never have to leave my desk!

Blog savvy N&R

2007-12-07T10:47:00.000-05:00

It was curious when Rob went to get the paper this morning and it wasn't there: not in the monkey grass lining our driveway or the prickly bush surrounding our mailbox - none of the usual mis-throw spots. By the time Rob got home from his first client visit, our darling paper was nestled in the driveway safe and sound.

The interesting part of this story is the email that arrived in my inbox just moments ago. Sent to me and eight reputable bloggers, the email is a press release explaining that the delay in delivery was due to mechanical problems that occurred while printing. And the interesting parts of that are:

The fact that the News & Record seems to realize that the quickest way to distribute information is through this city's bloggers - of course, the N&R, with their staff blogs and participation in Converge South has certainly proved itself to be a blog savvy organization
That their blog savvy doesn't preclude putting all email addresses in the "To:" line rather than using a BCC
That the N&R possesses such blog savvy but still doesn't seem to realize the full, and essential, potential of its Web site (my apologizes to everyone who was involved in the recent redesign - it's a start)

So, happy reading. If your paper still hasn't made its way to you, rest assured that the fine folks in the N&R circulation department would very much like for you to know that it is on its way.

True Hanukkah miracle

2007-12-07T08:32:00.000-05:00

Last night, Rob and I celebrated the third night of Hanukkah with my mom, my sister and her family. It's a minor holiday but kind of interesting nonetheless, celebrating a war victory in which a small group of Jews defeated the Greeks using guerrilla tactics. The Greeks had been oppressing the Jews and using the Temple for Hellenistic practices, like pig sacrifices (that'd be a pretty major no-no in Jewish law). The eight nights come in when the Jews rededicated the Temple after their victory, finding oil that seemed as though it would last only one night. But in the miracle of the holiday, the oil lasted eight nights. Praise Yahweh, pass the potato pancakes.

The fact of the matter is that Jews would probably pay little but passing attention to this holiday were it not for its proximity to Christmas. It's hard enough for adults to ignore the gift receiving opportunities housed in the season; imagine a kid trying to do it while all his public school classmates rave about their Christmas booty. As a kid, I actually felt a little bad for my Christmas-celebrating friends - all their anticipation was spent on one anticlimactic morning, while we had eight days to draw out the suspense, eight days to wonder if we should have chosen the small package the night before - maybe tonight...

Though Rob and I were given some lovely gifts last night, my favorite gifts of the night were spontaneous gestures by my nephews - an unexpected kiss on the cheek from the 8-year-old and an invitation to cuddle in an oversized chair with the soon-to-be-5-year-old. Corny, I know - just thank me for not writing my next column about it - the thought did cross my mind. But c'mon - in the midst of the mall flooding and kids asking for dinosaurs and computers (as one friend's kids did), gestures of love from children and all the wonders housed within their tiny little bodies are their own miracles... certainly miracles I believe in a hell of a lot more than magically regenerating oil.

Disaster and dine

2007-12-05T06:38:00.000-05:00

Some nights, dinner appears effortlessly out of a seemingly empty fridge, sometimes as simple as a baked sweet potato and a pile of roasted green beans. Some nights, I like to put a little more effort in, perhaps even following a recipe, like the night before last when I set out to make a scrumptious sounding Hazelnut & Chard Ravioli Salad from 101 Cookbooks.

So, I had beautiful goat cheese ravioli from Giacomo's, and appealing substitutions of pine nuts and mustard greens from the market. It's a rather long recipe - not complicated, just plenty of steps involving plenty of pans. I started with the butternut squash croutons... which never quite crisped... but no worries, butternut squash is one of the candies of the veggie world regardless of texture. Moving on.

Sauteing onions, check. Ravioli slowly boiling themselves to the top of the pot, check. Time to wash the greens.

Dirt, my friends, comes part and parcel with shopping at the farmers' market. You wouldn't know it from a grocery store, but most of our food does, in fact, originate in soil. Washing greens, then, is an endurance test: dunk the torn, de-stemmed leaves in a bowl of cold water, swish to dislodge dirt, lift the greens into a colander, clean out the wash bowl and repeat (and repeat and repeat).

As I tore these mustard greens, however, they seemed a little dirtier than usual, with large flakes of dirt shooting across my counter and sticking to my hands. I covered the first bowl in cold water and saw all the flakes float to the surface... some of them looked a little frayed at the edges. I scooped up a palm-full of dirt, held my hand practically to my nose, and realized that the specs of dirt I had been diligently attempting to wash away were in fact tiny bugs, millions of them.

Now, I have certainly picked a bug or two out of my produce before and continued my merry meal prep because it's like the slow foodies like to say: the only thing worse than finding half a worm in your apple is eating apples no self-respecting worm would bore into. I'm paraphrasing.

But millions of tiny bugs coating each of my dozens of mustard leaves? My apologies to the farmer who sweated over that greens patch (and only charged $1 for the entire grocery bag of greens - come on, guys - ask for what your food is worth!!) but everything was swept into the trash. I submerged my dishcloth in water to drown the remaining bugs, then had Rob give me a full-body scan in the hopes that being reassured by my one true love that bugs were not, in fact, covering every inch of my body would keep me from having to take a scalding shower where I scrub myself with a brillo. Beyond a couple moments of feeling imaginary pairs of miniature legs climbing me, it worked pretty well.

Once the bugs had been dispatched with, I decided that sauteed portobello mushrooms would be a workable replacement for the missing bulk of our dinner. These were also a farmers' market purchase but a week and a half old so the shrooms had already lost a good bit of moisture, on their way to becoming dried shrooms. But it's getting late (even for us, who eat after 9 more often than we'd like) and we're hungry so I just chop them and throw them in a lightly oiled pan.

Shortly thereafter, as I was grating lemon zest and parmesan for the garnish when I noticed the acrid smell of the mushrooms burning. Not just a little scorched but beyond repair and taking my pan with it. Yup, an operator error stole my last ditch effort at salvaging our meal.

So there we were with six large, cooked raviolis, a pan of sauteed butternut squash and caramelized onions, toasted pine nuts, grated lemon zest and some shredded parmesan cheese, proving yet again that some of the best meals (and ideas in general) are borne of mistakes. The greens or mushrooms would have added a lovely and nutritionally-packed element, but by piling all the ingredients on the ravioli, we had an amazing meal filled with distinct, light flavors.

Hurrah for happy culinary endings!

Christmas debate season

2007-12-03T14:30:00.000-05:00

Yup, it is, indeed, that time of year again, when we must debate the extent to which it is appropriate to celebrate Christmas in public. Shall we treat this season like a throw-back to 2004, when people were horrified that non-Christians were largely unwilling to put on a happy face and play along? Or shall we make this one of those years where we embrace the amazing diversity of our country and allow room for the many non-Christians to abstain from celebrations without feeling conspicuous and bad?

A Jewish woman recently told me that every office door in her place of business is covered with Christmas decorations. Every door but, of course, hers. So, she is left to react in one of the following ways:

Decorate her door with Christmas stuff, which, as a person who is proud and uncompromising in her Jewish heritage, she would never do
Decorate her door with Hanukkah stuff, which would also be a compromise since Hanukkah is a seriously minor holiday without any inherent decor (i.e. anything she put up would be some sort of imitation of Christmas stuff, like blue and white twinkle lights or a Hanukkah bush)
Leave her door undecorated and therefore remain conspicuous for the remainder of the season

Of course, there is an unfortunate lack of room for compromise here. Either the majority of the staff doesn't get to publicly display their Christmas cheer or this one woman must spend an uncomfortable couple of months. I suppose as a Jew, it would be hard for me to understand why such a holy Christian holiday would be reduced to a debate about inflatable desk ornaments and faux-pine door wreaths... But, as Penelope Trunk said today on her blog, "The only people who think Christmas is not religious are Christians."

Winter Walk 07

2007-12-03T07:23:00.000-05:00

I've written about the Winter Walk for AIDS a time or two before. With yesterday's temperate weather and the shortening of the walk from five to three miles a while back, this year's walk stood in stark contrast with the first time I participated in 1996. The walks were still in the morning then, and that particular morning was nearly freezing with a mist of drizzle. We had fun walking that day - we felt good about walking - but the bitterness of the morning seemed to suit the disease we were fighting. It felt like an appropriate challenge (though a symbolic and, of course, terribly minor challenge) to brave the weather.

This year felt more like a stroll with friends. It was, in fact. We arranged to meet with several friends and found several more along the way. One friend picked me up and swung me around, a reassuring reminder of his strength and health (I'm nowhere near petite) even in the face of his relatively recent HIV diagnosis.

People are living longer, healthier lives with HIV/AIDS than ever before. It is a testament to the scientists working towards better treatments and the agencies, like the walk organizers, Triad Health Project, that provide support services for those living with the disease. But, as we were reminded with the reading of a list of THP clients lost in the last year, people are still dying of this preventable disease.

Those who walked yesterday give me hope, though. The crowd was diverse in age, ethnicity and (presumably) sexual orientation, but the bulk was made of area college students - a group of people that I believe has the most power, right now, to spread the message of prevention through safe sex (abstinence being only one method of prevention). Perhaps some of them will even enter the labs to continue the work towards a cure. I was also pleased to see a contingent of young Jews from the American Hebrew Academy and Temple Emanuel. I was raised to believe that social action is an important part of Judaism; it seems these kids have been taught the same.

We did miss the A&T drumline starting the walk, as they have done every previous year I've participated, and Cakalak Thunder, who also usually makes an appearance. (No offense, UNCG drumline - I admire the chutzpah the seven of you showed.) I was also disappointed to see that at least one local anti-war group decided to exploit the gathering to spread their own messages. While I would love to see impeachment be the first of many punishments Bush has to suffer, yesterday wasn't about politics or personal agendas - it was about supporting people with a disease, and raising money for the agencies that help keep them living longer, healthier, happier lives. I think if HIV/AIDS activism were as high on their priority list as their sign and flyers would have the crowd believe, I would have seen them at previous Winter Walks, but, alas, no.

All in all, it seemed to be another successful Winter Walk, hopefully bringing a little more awareness to the local community and acting as a reminder that it is through hope, not fear, that we will conquer HIV/AIDS.

Four-legged babies

2007-11-30T07:34:00.000-05:00

My mom likes to remind me that the word "children" is in reference to small humans, not the four pets that roam around my house. She could say it until she was blue in the face and it wouldn't change the fact that Rob and I are among the growing number of people who are choosing four-legged babies instead of miniature-me's.

Don't get me wrong - I love human children. My nephews and nieces are truly the apples of my eye; as far as I'm concerned, they are the most brilliant, attractive, talented people to grace this planet. But in my home, the furry babies reign supreme.

The downside to this arrangement (or at least, the downest of the downsides) is that pets, of course, are going to predecease their owners the vast majority of the time. Rob avoids thinking about it; I like to pretend that knowing that will somehow make it easier when the time comes. Ultimately, neither approach is really going to help.

Two friends are currently facing this with their pet-children. As a society, we want them to suck it up, keep it in perspective, shed a tear or two only then march forward.

But how?

My customer service top 5

2007-11-28T06:50:00.000-05:00

If I could have had a Great Customer Servers sidebar attached to my column today, it would have included (in no particular order):

Dr. Margaret Szott and her entire staff. Margaret is my dentist. I recently referred a friend to her (quite an easy recommendation to make) and she hand-wrote me a very personal, warm thank you note. Not that I was surprised - her office is marked by over-the-top warm interactions - her staff inevitably remembers who people are, our interests and if and how we're related to other patients. They actually make it a pleasure to go to the dentist.
Gene at Arthur's Fine Shoes. The owners of the store, Stan and Judy, are lovely, too, but I've grown quite a bond with Gene. He took great care of me the first time we met, even though I went into their swank store in my grungy food service get-up (back when I was working at Great Harvest Bread Co.). A year and a half later (truly), I went back in a second time to replace the Danskos that had saved my feet and Gene not only remembered me, but also the kind of shoe he has sold me AND the style of sock! Now, the time or two a year I allow myself to go in there (even I have a hard time resisting their shoes), we talk about our families and share a hug - I'm often tempted to go in when I'm just having a bad day...
Gary at the Costco gas station. I've had conversations with random people about Gary before - he's just the kind of person who really stands out for people. I call him my Five-Minute Philosopher because I can have a better conversation with him in the five minutes it takes to pump my gas than with the majority of people given hours. An intellectual and a kind-hearted man.
The crew at Amalfi Harbour. The first time I walked into Amalfi Harbour (only earlier this year though I've wondered about it for as long as I can remember), I wasn't sure what it's dismal exterior was hiding. But by the end of the appetizer, I was not only sold on the food, but felt like family to the wait staff.
Sean at Muse. An inclusive snob (in a good way), who provided the best fine dining service we've experienced. But I've already written about him.

There are plenty of other worthwhile mentions, I'm sure. Who doesn't love the "Hello!" at Pita Delite? Or Masoud's way of working the dining room at Zaytoon? Or the earnestness of the sales staff at the Great Outdoor Provision Company?

I'm a sucker for a great customer service experience...

Everyone should wait on customers at some time in their life

2007-11-28T06:44:00.000-05:00

Young Israeli men and women serve in the military after high school. Whatever you think of the geopolitics of

Israel

, the fact is that they are frequently in a state of war, making compulsory military service consistent with the needs of that country.

Americans are frequently in a state of shopping. We shop because we had a bad day or because Timmy’s birthday is coming up or because we simply must get in on the formal shorts trend before it passes. As you may have noticed, we are currently in a shopping frenzy to celebrate the birth of Jesus, or the miraculous longevity of the Maccabees’ oil, or because we care about someone who celebrates one or both.

At this point, we could have a series of conversations about whether we should be so involved with shopping, or the ethics of choosing to whom we give money through our purchases, or even the long-term environmental impact of what we buy. Or, we could acknowledge that ours is, in fact, a capitalistic society, with a free market economy, and therefore shopping can, will and arguably should, on some level, happen. That accepted, would it not be in keeping with the needs of our kind of country for our young men and women to be drafted into compulsory customer service after high school?

I served my time: first at an alternative medical practice, then on and off for years in food service. During my service, I learned that I wouldn’t find that kind of work interesting for long, and should therefore truly apply myself in college. But I also learned about the customer/server relationship: exactly how much discourteous behavior I would accept from a customer before peeling off my service smile and the kind of service I needed to provide in order to feel good about my job and allow the customer to have a pleasant experience.

Additionally, I now have a very clear picture of what kind of consumer I want to be: I tip big (when deserved), I don’t enter businesses within 15 minutes of closing time and I treat customer servers like human beings rather than automatons created to fulfill my every whim.

Of course, I now also have a very clear picture of what kind of service I want: I want to be treated like a human being, not like an automaton created to inconvenience customer servers. I want the barest of greetings, or at least acknowledgment, when face to face with a server. And I’d like to believe that the servers I encounter have some sort of pride in doing their job well, or at least don’t show outward signs of being in excruciating workplace pain.

So, you see, the draft I propose is not one of ensuring that my favorite stores are well-staffed, but of giving Americans the opportunity to think more about how we interact in our most widely used gathering spots: stores. I would be pleased as punch if our youth chose to instead spend time in the Peace Corps or working at community service organizations across the Triad – anything that reminds us that even our me-first society would function more smoothly, and be a greater pleasure to be a part of, if we made a little more effort to consider one another.

‘Tis the season to truly indulge in the great American pastime, shopping. ‘Tis also the season of caring, giving and love. Perhaps this year, we can work harder to marry the two.

Shattering airpot

2007-11-22T18:10:00.000-05:00

I was just washing my coffee carafe after a truly lovely Thanksgiving meal, when I had a vivid memory of the tinkling sound an airpot makes when its glass liner shatters - also truly lovely. Memory is a funny beast.

(Un)Comfortably Numb

2007-11-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

When we were first dating, Rob was apparently pulled aside by a friend of mine who warned him to never play Pink Floyd in front of me. I would have told him eventually.

I don't remember the song that was playing on the radio the night I totaled my car, though the person in the passenger seat cringed at the opening chords for many months. I never remember the actual words spoken in the most heated of moments (the average marital argument, for example, comes no where close to reaching that temperature) but remember only the gist and feel of the words. Auditory details just seem beyond my memory's interest.

I also can't remember which Pink Floyd song was the one that turned my stomach to a band whose tee-shirt I likely would have worn otherwise - just that Pink Floyd was playing while my then-boyfriend rocked himself on the floor of our bedroom, his knees pulled to his chest. I left to sit on the sofa, next to the woman whose apartment it was, and listened as he tore apart our room. Of all that was destroyed, the most notable was a photo I had taken of him in which he was torn into two jagged pieces. It wasn't a particularly traumatic evening, particularly in comparison to other moments with him, but it's always remained vivid to me.

Years later, as the assistant leader of a Girl Scout troop, I found myself lost in a corn maze with the teen-aged staff playing Dark Side of the Moon from start to finish. I gladly followed one of the teens down the quitter's path to the exit. No hives, no sobbing - just discomfort and a willingness to end its source -the worst of my reactions to Pink Floyd, but why bother with even that, I thought.

But as each year that passes, being song-averse increasingly strikes me as a waste of time, an unnecessary thing for Rob to have to be vigilant of (as he slowly reaches for the radio and presses the first available button, often before I've identified the song)... as plain old stupid.

So, last week, Comfortably Numb came on the radio, Rob did his usual hubby-to-the-rescue swoop-and-tune, and I insisted we turn back. We sang along (I don't think a lifetime would be long enough to forget those lyrics) and, in a turn of Alanis Morissette's version of ironic, I've had the song stuck in my head since. It's arguably a better situation that the song I used to get stuck in my head: the theme song for Three's Company, but I'd still rather not. My usual remedy, singing the theme song for Inspector Gadget (two theme songs for shows I watched as a kid... I wonder what that says about me...), has failed miserably, though I've had some temporary success by singing Claypool's Up on the Roof ( I'm up on the roof again/Watchin' the sparklers dance and play/Up on the roof again/Please don't take my ladder away)...

As a last ditch effort to exorcise the Pink demon from my head, I've decided to write about it. Writing, for me, if often a brain-dumping exercise - I roll a topic around in my head until I can write about it and then I don't have to think about it anymore. I often even draw a blank when people ask what I've been writing about lately... I don't know; I already wrote about it.

Thanks for being a part of my experiment; hopefully I won't have to write about this again...

Poor Willie Gordon

2007-11-14T09:57:00.000-05:00

Isabel Allende's husband, that is, the man whose being was filleted for the general amusement of those of us who gathered at War Memorial Auditorium last night. It worked; I was terribly amused, and my mom may have shed a laughter-induced tear or two as well.

Allende was in town as part of the Guilford College Bryan Series, the same program that brought us Toni Morrison at the end of last season. While Morrison used her platform to expound what seemed to be an anti-war message hedged in an analysis of Beowulf, Allende instead spoke of her life and her writing process, focusing particularly on the perforated line between privacy and story telling that most writers, and their families, face.

Rob has certainly taken more than his fair share of ribbing from friends after the publication of columns like this and this, and I happen to know that at least one family member is (wrongly) expecting some sort of public lambasting, whether covertly or overtly done. Indeed, there have been times that my mother, who proofs every column I submit, has asked if I really want to share that particular story with the 200,000+ reader of the News & Record: therapy, domestic abuse, personal vulnerabilities.

Last night, Allende said something to the effect of (and I wish I had written her exact words) our vulnerabilities lying not in that which we share, but the secrets we keep, and I couldn't agree more. The few topics that I have yet to broach with you, darling reader, are those which are too intimate, those about which I am unwilling to accept reader insight, commentary or criticism: kids, my belief system and my future all fall into that category, topics that I avoid in conversation as well.

Unlike Allende, the story matters less to me than the people that might be affected. My pensively waiting family member doesn't read my blog, so I don't risk giving anything away by saying that I have no interest in exposing the secret of those I love nor those who I don't love but would find too much gratification in being captured on the page. Still, I feel my own secrets pressing upon me like a warning: that which we don't share can do nothing but haunt us; there is no thunder stealing like honesty.

Lego robots wire kids for science

2007-11-14T09:11:00.000-05:00

Back in February, I wrote a column about my fifth grade teacher, Mark Moore, a man who continues to be among the most influential educators to cross my scholastic path. His influence comes largely from his ability to bring the fun of critical thinking and practical application into any topic. In the column, I posed the concern that this separation of fun and learning is harming students’ future career prospects by turning them off to advanced learning.

It seems that at least one person was concerned about this long before No Child Left Behind made it a common topic of conversation. Dean Kamen, best known for inventing the Segway, began a program for exactly that reason in 1989: FIRST, an acronym for "For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology". Initially aimed at high school students, the program has evolved to include divisions for kids as young as six, including the FIRST LEGO League (FLL), a division for nine to 14-year-olds.

I recently visited an FLL team at their Natural Science Center practice room. There, eight home-schooled kids tinkered with LEGO figures around a table. Banish from your mind, though, images of LEGO cars with bobble-headed drivers or even massive LEGO recreations of the Statue of Liberty; no, these kids have fashioned their LEGOs into two identical, kid-designed robots. Programmed via nearby computers, the robots traveled the practice table while attempting to complete tasks assigned by the international FIRST organization. This year, the theme of the tasks has a green tint: Power Puzzle, energy resources, meeting global demands.

Among the tasks was placing a LEGO solar panel onto the roof of a LEGO house. But without the assistance of a remote control, the kids must program the robot to move at precisely the right speed, in precisely the right direction, stopping in the right spot, dropping the panel just so AND returning to home base, all within a matter of seconds.

Marie Hopper is the coach of this team and the founder of the first Greensboro FLL teams back in 2001. As the kids tinkered and reprogrammed toward successfully placing their solar panel, she told me that she got involved not only in the hopes of engaging her son in science, but also because she appreciates the values FIRST emphasizes, particularly what the league calls Gracious Professionalism. As stated on the FIRST Web site, “Gracious professionals learn and compete like crazy, but treat one another with respect and kindness in the process.”

On December 1, the team will compete in the FLL state championship in which they will be scored equally on their robot’s performance on tasks including placing the solar panel; design and programming; teamwork; and a research project. The project takes laboratory concepts and gives them real-world application. This year, the kids are tasked with performing energy audits on local buildings from which they can suggest solutions for greater energy efficiency. So far, teams have audited the Children’s Museum, Belk’s, a highway patrol station and more.

Hopper said that in her six years of coaching FLL, she has seen kids reorient their future plans to include science and engineering, and she has seen kids who have little success in traditional school environments find scholastic accomplishment and inspiration. As Japan graduates more than twice as many engineers than the U.S., with less than half the population, it seems that though these kids think they’re building robots, what they are truly laying is the foundation for keeping America competitive in the global marketplace.

---------------------------------

Want to see FLL in action? The North Carolina FLL State Championship is right around the corner!

When: December 1, 9:00 am to 5:00 pm

Where: Greensboro Coliseum Special Events Center

Cost: Admission is free, though there may be a charge for parking

A child's birthday

2007-11-12T06:53:00.000-05:00

I have yet (and hope to never) reach the point where I dread my birthday. I enjoy the extra pampering - the dish of her special eggplant parm that my mom makes for me every year and Rob's ever-innovative ways of spoiling me. But though I am oddly excited about reaching my 30th birthday next year, that excitement pales in comparison to celebrating my nephew's eight birthday this weekend.

My sister's oldest son, a child I read to in the womb and spent countless hours with during his first couple of years, when my greatest obligation was completing my college degree and all non-studying hours could be spent watching his face change from the tiny wrinkled face of infancy to the round, baby version of the face he has now, a face that has recently become long and narrow, like his body. It's a mature face that makes me think twice about slinging him around and blowing raspberries on his neck like I did when he was younger; I still do those things, but I wait for the day that he lets me know he has become too old...

In the meantime, we'll play hide-and-seek as we did before his party yesterday. I will continue to be amazed when he says things that bypass age-appropriateness by a long shot, and relieved when he says things that are distinctly eight-years-old in mentality. And I will try a little harder to not see his future when I look in his face: the endless possibilities for what his life could become and he along with it. I believe he will be successful wherever his path may lead, but we have decades to hash that out and only this one precious year to enjoy him at eight.

Daily Lit

2007-11-07T15:43:00.001-05:00

I don't think I've ever read anything by Charles Dickens. I'm not sure how I made it through public high school and an English-intensive college degree without reading any Dickens but there it is. I admit it.

But today, I read the first installment of A Tale of Two Cities via Daily Lit, a service that really kicks sliced bread's ass on the "best things" scale. The whole idea is that many (most?) of us spend so much time at our computers and yet seem to find so little to time to read offline. So, Daily Lit has serialized a pretty impressive selection of books - mostly free though some do involve a nominal fee to finish after a free trial - and emails a short section of your chosen book per whatever schedule you set.

The first section of Tale took me about five minutes to read and included a link at the bottom that will send me the next section immediately, should I want it. Otherwise, I'll receive future sections at 6:30 every weekday morning.

Now, if they could only join forces with Good Reads somehow...

(Thanks, Tam, for the heads-up on this one!)

Winter Walk for AIDS

2007-11-07T07:20:00.000-05:00

It's almost that time of year again when conscientious citizens flood the downtown streets to show support for those living with HIV/AIDS, and raise money for the services that support them and are working toward a cure: Winter Walk for AIDS.

This is the 16th year of the walk that organizers hoped would be obsolete long ago. I attended my first walk on a rainy day in 1996, when it was largely a procession populated by the gay community. As the demographics of those most affected by the disease has changed, so too have the demographics of the walk. Increasingly, the walk is made of African-American college students, with amazing showings by A&T and UNCG.

You don't have to be personally touched by the disease to participate; you just need to acknowledge that this is a preventable disease for which the message of prevention must be as widely disseminated as possible; that this is a disease for which we must find a cure for the good of all humanity; and that those living with this disease are every bit as deserving of our support and care as those living with cancer, MS or any other potentially terminal illness.

Sunday, December 2, starting at 2:00 PM - come and walk. In the midst of a terrible disease, Winter Walk is an amazing morning of hope.

Election day musings

2007-11-06T07:40:00.000-05:00

I love voting - I'm just a dork like that. I vividly remember registering to vote at Fun 4th 11 years ago, much in the way that I remember other landmark moments, like the mornings my sister's children were born, the day they announced Kurt Cobain's death (I still don't buy suicide) and the evening my hubby proposed (4 years Friday!). It stands to reason, then, that I get all atwitter when it's time to use my voting rights. I always want the poll volunteers to check my registration card or put me through some sort of rigorous identification process but the usual confirming my address from a piece of paper I can easily read as they do will do every time.

I'm particularly excited about this election due to the mayoral piece. Honestly, though I'm clearly a fan of Billy Jones, I'm not yet sure that I will write him in (sorry Billy). It's my Gemini nature (or something like that) - a big piece of me wants to vote for my favorite person, making the write-in a foregone conclusion. But another part of me, the pragmatist, is concerned that Billy is our local Nader, stealing votes from the viable candidate I like the most. With what will likely be a very low voter turn-out, will I feel that I've used my vote wisely if I write Billy in only to have Kern win?

I have similar concerns about the presidential primaries. Mike Gravel is my favorite, and I like Kucinich pretty well, but will I vote for one of them and risk taking votes away from those who could seriously challenge Clinton? I have a little more time to feel that one out...

Whoever you like, get to the polls today. Or quit your bitching. Your choice.

Necrophilia for readers

2007-11-02T07:24:00.000-04:00

Well, folks, it looks like it's almost time for another spectacular round of Burn This Book! This week, Teacher Magazine (via my mom - thanks, mom!) has brought forth our new candidate: Child of God. I haven't read this filthy piece of Pulitzer winning smut but according to the article, the 1994 novel explores human degradation via a protagonist who is falsely accused of a crime then becomes a murderous necrophiliac. A young teacher, Kaleb Tierce, though apparently beloved by his students, has been placed on administrative leave and is facing possible criminal charges for assigning the book to his 9th grade class.

So the students are wearing armbands with Tierce's initials to show solidarity and the majority of the parents are asking that he be reinstated and yet the school board decided to keep him on leave because some small group of parents is displeased with a book.

Granted, when I tried to imagine my youngest bro, currently in 9th grade, or my oldest niece, just behind him in 8th grade, reading the book, I wasn't thrilled with the idea because that does have the potential for seriously disturbing imagery. But filing a police report because a piece of acclaimed literature was assigned? Fascism, anyone?

When the overly-aggressive parent didn't get the results she wanted from the school administration, she did have one option other than the cops: talking to her kid about the content. Heaven forbid parents speak to their teens about graphic images that involve sex and violence. I can't imagine her kid is getting similar images in less reputable places... like tv, movies or the bikini panties now sold at Limited Too (right next to the sweat pants that say "Cutie" on the tush, perhaps?).

Billy the unconventional candidate

2007-10-31T07:18:00.001-04:00

Billy Jones, a.k.a. Billy the Blogging Poet a.k.a. Billy the StreetPlanes co-founder and operator a.k.a. Santa Claus, has added a new alias to the mix: Billy the Blogging Write-in Candidate. Jones (no relation) announced his candidacy via his Web site, bloggingpoet.com, less than a month before the Greensboro mayoral election.

With one massive blog post, Jones threw his quill into what has already been a compelling two-person race between long-time local politician Yvonne Johnson and downtown developer Milton Kern. His position statement, on its way to becoming a novella-length tome, has a particular focus on gang-related crime, prevalent in the east Greensboro neighborhood in which Jones lives, and touches on water conservation, alternative transportation, waning trust in the police department, business incentives and more.

Winning as a write-in candidate, though rare, is not unheard of. Michael Sessions was still a senior in high school when he won the Hillsdale, Mich., mayor's office as a write-in candidate two years ago. In fact, mayors from Long Beach, Calif., to Waterbury, Conn., have won offices as write-in candidates; Strom Thurmond even won his first seat in the U.S. Senate as a write-in candidate — and a Democrat!

Be that as it may, Jones is fighting an uphill battle. It may seem like a small thing to ask voters to be able to recall a name rather than simply recognizing it, but psychologists would say otherwise. Even with a name like Billy Jones, we are simply better at recognizing things (like names) that we've seen before rather than conjuring those things from memory. (I'd be curious to know how many write-in votes are placed for candidates named Bob Smith or Dave Jones or other creations of people attempting to recall Billy Jones.)

For this very reason, Jones has to work double-time to cultivate the kind of name recognition his opponents have gained over the years. But like an illusionist who insists on being not only blindfolded but also handcuffed before performing his daring escape, Jones has asked that supporters not send him the very thing he needs to accomplish that end: money. To avoid campaign finance issues, he is asking that people make donations or use grass-roots channels to spread his message. Suggestions on his site include do-it-yourself yard signs, letter-writing campaigns and arrangements to speak to groups.

Of course, grass-roots is passé, and Jones has its replacement, netroots, in the bag. He's not Billy the Blogging Poet for nothing, after all. Recent history has certainly brought plenty of examples of netroots propelling dark horse national candidates to near victory. Perhaps, in a city our size, it could be enough to win.

The fact that Greensboro is historically lackadaisical about local elections may actually work to Jones' advantage. In the last mayoral election, only 19,000 ballots were cast, making individual votes even more significant. Between the adoration of Greensboro's blogging community and the eye-catching advertising that is his StreetPlane, Jones could well reach enough people to give Johnson and Kern a serious run for their money.

That is, of course, if voters are willing to put their ballots where their mouths are. Though Americans make a sport of distrusting the baby-kissing, image-conscious, power-grabbing stereotypical politician, we seem largely unwilling to take a chance on those who don't meet that image. From his Saint Nick-inspired tresses to his notable lack of politicking, Jones is a significant paradigm shift from his opponents and outgoing Mayor Keith Holliday.

Whether or not Jones's vision for Greensboro appeals to its citizens, his candidacy allows us the rare opportunity to see how unconventional candidates and low-budget campaigns impact races.

Election Day is Nov. 6; let your vote act as your voice in determining the future of our city.

Billy the Blogging Write-In Candidate

2007-10-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

Billy Jones, the blogging poet, is putting himself up as a write-in candidate for mayor. I have to say that I can find no fault in his platform - in fact, there's a lot in there that I would love to see happen and I particularly love that he's taking no contributions. Of course, I thought a lot of Yvonne Johnson when I saw her at the League of Women Voters mayoral forum. Seems I have some research to do before election day...

Customer service gone right

2007-10-19T10:08:00.001-04:00

I can't remember who originally recommended Wear Yours to me, but they've been doing my embroidery since they stitched the logo from my personal chef company, Dining with Ease, onto my first chef's jackets. It's exactly the kind of place I like to shop: not only are they the only embroidery shop I know of that doesn't charge a digitizing fee (trusting that repeat business will make up for that loss-leader), it is family-owned, with a serious emphasis on personal service and pride in workmanship. That pride stretches so far, in fact, that one employee spent a week mulling over our Jones CAN logo, which is complicated by a grid design, because she felt confident that she could do an even better job on it than the sew-out we had approved. She was right: her modifications made it absolutely spot-on.

We've been so happy working with them that when our most recent batch of shirts arrived and were unusable, for both size and quality reasons, I felt pretty strongly about talking to the owner about it. My hope was that she would offer some sort of apology and suggestion for getting a better result next time - after all, they're a small business and had all sorts of expense outlays to get our shirts done, and with our logos embroidered, it's not as though they could hope to recoup any of that money from the company from which they bought the shirts.

She exceeded my hopes by a long shot: she deducted one shirt that wasn't embroidered and split the difference on the remainder. I'm guessing that she didn't just eat the profit, but is actually losing money on the deal. I take no pleasure in that piece, but I do truly appreciate that she stepped up to the plate so firmly and graciously. She has changed me from a satisfied customer to a loyal customer and I can't encourage everyone enough to give them a try for any embroidery or screen printing needs.

Hurrah for construction workers

2007-10-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I saw the smashed, ricocheted aftermath of a nasty wreck on the corner of Tate St and Spring Garden (no, I didn't see the wreck itself, just heard the noise then saw the SUVs as they came to their belated stop). As unnerving as that is, the impressive part was the hoard of construction workers who immediately left their Aycock Auditorium posts to make sure everyone was okay and keep people calm.

Well done, fellas - talk about personal responsibility!

The power of one person

2007-10-18T09:22:00.000-04:00

I often find it decadent to watch movies in Carolina Theater, despite the fact that Movie House was one of its earliest identities. Watching Bogie slap Peter Lorre surrounded by crystal chandeliers and armless statues feels like eating pizza in a formal living room. Last Wednesday, however, I saw a movie befitting its surroundings: I have never forgotten you: The life and legacy of Simon Wiesenthal.

Simon Wiesenthal, concentration camp survivor, famed (and sometimes notorious) Nazi hunter. There are so many striking things about Wiesenthal as a person: his dedication to justice, not revenge; his ongoing insistence that he was not a hero, but a survivor; the way tears so easily pooled in his big eyes, showing a comfort with the tragedy he embodied; and the fact that, despite carrying the memories of the roughly 11 million Jews and non-Jews killed, he still found great pleasure and hope in life.

But, perhaps more than anything, Wiesenthal was a model of personal responsibility. In the film, Wiesenthal’s wife, Cyla, said that she begged her husband to leave his work in Vienna and move to family and safety in Israel. But from the moment of his liberation from the Mauthausen concentration camp, Wiesenthal knew he that if he didn’t carry the memories of the dead, if he didn’t push for justice, no one would.

I’ll go ahead and admit now that to compare Wiesenthal’s work to anything happening within the Triad is ludicrous. But in a way, that’s exactly what makes his sense of personal responsibility so instructive. Here, taking responsibility doesn’t mean risking having your house firebombed, as Wiesenthal did. It doesn’t mean tracking criminals across the globe while earning almost no money. It doesn’t mean depriving your spouse of a wanted life because you cannot simply resume life-as-usual after witnessing unimaginable horrors.

We should count our lucky stars that, here, taking personal responsibility is comparable to child’s play. Even the rising gang violence and widespread distrust of our police department in the wake of the Wray drama is blissfully benign in comparison. So, why, when we can fulfill our responsibilities as individuals so easily, was there a seven percent turn-out at the City Council primary last week? Why did I see a business pressure washing its parking lot and a private home running a fountain during this drought? Why would parents allow their children to ride unrestrained in cars, as I have seen with unnerving frequency lately?

Ideals are meant to be attempted but never reached. I’m sure that not every recyclable material makes it into the brown trashcan at my house, just as I am sure that Wiesenthal was not able to track down every criminal he would have liked. But not achieving perfection did not deter Wiesenthal from his mission, and it should not deter us from attempting to make positive change every day, in efforts everywhere on the spectrum from minuscule to monumental.

A crisp brown lawn, a vote in the ballot box, an afternoon a month volunteering or door held for an overburdened parent – these are badges of personal responsibility, some of the often unacknowledged contributions to creating a better community.

The Constitution of the United States of America gives us the freedom to be individuals. We can choose to use that right to advance our own agendas, regardless of the effect on those around us, or we can recognize that our true power as individuals lies in the place where our needs intersect with those of our community and the coming generations.

My lost jungle

2007-10-17T15:56:00.000-04:00

When Rob and I moved into our home, we inherited what we have come to think of as a "grown-up yard" - the kind of yard the requires stuff like hedge trimming and lots and lots of weeding. It seems that we, however, are infants when it comes to lawn care, both in the effort we are willing to put in and the aesthetic that pleases us.

I suppose I should confess that one of my favorite yards in Greensboro is on North Elam (the piece that runs between Cornwallis and Pembroke) which is so overgrown that the house is barely visible except in the barren winter. In the spring, though, the mass of trees and shrubs erupts into a rainbow. That's our aesthetic: wild, lush, private.

Over the last four years, we've let our grown-up yard expand itself into a little jungle in our backyard. Enormous ferns and other assorted volunteers created a screen from our neighbors and a happy roaming ground for our dogs. Despite our love of the result, we've toyed with getting it back under control for a couple of years now, to make it more accessible for us (the necessity of which became clear recently when we were unable to reach the dogs through a patch of brambles as they dug a chipmunk from its hiding spot) and prepare for the day when moving enters our immediate game plan.

I hadn't really considered my emotional attachment to my little jungle, though. Yesterday, I came home from meetings to an empty gap in the yard where a dogwood once grew; as the leaves on our other dogwood faded to orange, this tree turned brown and crisp, a fact I tried to ignore until an arborist pronounced our poor water-starved tree dead. Today, our volunteers were removed, leaving a huge empty yard, populated by our sole dogwood, a few pines and one spindly sapling. The dogs seem confused. I feel exposed and lonely. I had no idea that my plants were keeping me company until today...

Et tu, Radiohead?

2007-10-13T14:34:00.000-04:00

Radiohead fans across the globes have their panties in a twist because Radiohead released its latest album, In Rainbows, in 160 kilobits rather than the expected (and previously used) 320 kbps. Being a music fan but not an aficionado, I can't tell the difference - the download sounds great to me. Regardless, Radiohead fans have them on a pretty high pedestal and expect more of their beloveds than what appears to be a marketing ploy.

A true dining experience at Muse

2007-10-08T08:17:00.000-04:00

After spending a year baffled by the idea of a fine dining restaurant in Swenson's, Rob and I decided to finally give Muse a shot Saturday night. Now I'm left wondering how to write about the experience and its many layers - where to begin?

The dining experience started with the fine dining standard: a choice between tap water, flat bottled and sparkling bottled, which always feels like a restaurant personality test to me, as though the waiters know what kind of customer I will be (and what kind of tip I will leave) based on my decision to that question... which is always tap. I wonder what that tells them?

Regardless, it might be unfair to call that the beginning of our dining experience because at that point, we had yet to meet our waiter for the evening, Sean. Rob and I are pretty well invested in the full dining experience - the service weighs just as heavily in our overall rating of the evening as the food.

The food, before I get ahead of myself, was wonderful. It was on the heavy side, which I think was more a matter of what we ordered than a true representation of the offerings. The seafood tasted of the ocean in a clean, crisp, amazing way. The vegetables were crisp and bright; the flavors in the sauces was complex and spot-on. The presentation was beautiful - artistic without being overly engineered. We were also given an amuse-bouche which was tasty and beautiful and is one of those little things restaurants can do to really go the extra step.

But Sean made the evening. It was immediately obvious that he is not from Greensboro but I was surprised to find he's been here for only a month. He seemed too together (or something - not sure how to describe it) to be such a recent transplant.

One of the big turn-offs of fine dining for Rob and me is the snob factor - the feeling that we should have achieved a certain familiarity with gourmet food and fine dining practices before attempting an upscale restaurant. We've only encountered that kind of snobbery a time or two but it always puts a big crimp in the dining experience.

Sean (and I mean this in an entirely positive way) was an inclusive snob - he clearly understands the food - not just what he likes, or key flavors, but also textures, complimentary dishes and appropriate presentation, both of the food on the dish and the dish on the table. But we never felt as though we were not a part of that experience, that we weren't living up to our end of the bargain. He answered even our silliest questions seriously without any reproach for not knowing culinary terms and he perfectly walked the line of being attentive but not intrusive.

Sean closed our meal by saying something to the effect of: There are many different kinds of waiters out there and, I can assure you, there are many kinds of customers. I really feel as though we worked well together tonight.

And that, my friends, was the best closing to a meal I've ever experienced. It reminded me of a story a therapist told me about a father/daughter trapeze team. The father says "if you look out for me and I look out for you, we'll be fine," to which the daughter replied, "No, if I look out for me, and you look out for you, then we'll both be fine." With his closing remarks, it seemed as though Sean was saying that he had lived up to his expectations of himself as a waiter and we had lived up to our hopes (of having a great meal and a great time) as diners and therefore we had all had a pleasurable experience. Beautiful!

I don't know if food is part of Sean's ongoing path, but if it is, I can see him becoming a maitre-d at a Michelin rated restaurant (a la JP in Hell's Kitchen).

(As a little sidenote, in case the fine folks at Muse end up reading this, the Web site, guys, looks like it was a template built for a fried fish joint - it doesn't come close to matching your elegance. Straightforward and simple wins that race.)

Does this happen in NC?

2007-10-05T09:12:00.000-04:00

Texas state Senators are apparently in the practice of breaking their own codes by voting on behalf of other people. So much for one person, one vote.

Local meat links

2007-10-04T07:24:00.000-04:00

A reader just happened to have received the following list yesterday and was kind enough to pass it along. I haven't sampled food from every one of these farms but the ones I have tried have been a pleasure - Wards' bacon is the best to ever cross my lips; Hilltop ostrich is great (and the flavor just isn't that gamy); and we just tried goat from Weatherhand this week and were pleased with the steaks we grilled - I'm looking forward to trying some braised dishes after buying more this weekend.

Baldwin Family Farms
Ca swell County
1-800-896-4857
vmac@baldwinbeef.com
(BEEF)

Back Woods Family Farm
Free range chicken eggs and meat& PORK
They are at the curb market on Sat

Hilltop Ostrich Farm
Forsyth County
336-760-6189
ostrichonhilltop@aol.com
OSTRICH MEAT

Homeland Creamery
Guilford County
336-685-6455
milk@homelandcreamery.com
www.homelandcreamery.com
MILK PRODUCTS SOME BEEF and PORK

M & M Farm
Ca swell County
336-234-9216
CHICKEN EGGS

Moore Farm
Randolph County
336-622-5618
bradsfarm@yahoo.com
www.ncchoices.com
pasture raised pork

Rising Meadow Farm
Randolph County
336-622-1795
annandron@risingmeadow.com
www.risingmeadow.com
LAMB

Rocking F Farm
Guilford County
336-451-4787
mafields@bellsouth.net
www.RockingFFarm.com
BEFF

Terrell Double TT Farms
Randolph County
336-861-5085
beefmaster@ttbeef.com
www.ttbeef.com

Ward's Farm Fresh Pork and Eggs
Guilford County
336-697-0281(also at the curb market)

WeatherHand Farm
Randolph County
336-685-4800
weatherhand@aol.com
www.epicourier.com/Weatherhandfarm/
CHICKEN ,GOAT (Also at the Greensboro Curb Market)

Natalie Foster
Cornerstone garlic farm
(Okay, not meat but this woman seriously knows garlic - great stuff!)

Tabletop activism: The case for conscientiously raised meat

2007-10-04T07:13:00.000-04:00

I became a vegetarian when I was in 6^th grade. It was part of my earliest phase of activism, which largely involved nagging my family about their water usage and wearing tee-shirts with provocative messages. Though reports of amputated chicken beaks and pig tails were what drove me to a vegetable-based diet, it was only five years before I found myself indulging in a bite-sized tryst with a cooling pot roast.

Since then, I’ve reconsidered the many heath-related and ethical reasons why a vegetarian diet is arguably superior. It makes sense to stay lower on the food chain by eating grain rather than feed it to the animals we intend to eat. It feels good not to contribute to the demand fueling the Confined Animal Feeding Operations (CAFO) that supply most of America’s meat. And I would much rather save my artery-clogging intake for cheesecake than steak. Yet the steak keeps appearing on my plate, time and again.

Fortunately, books like Michael Pollan’s Omnivore’s Dilemma, and A Field Guide to Buying Organic by Luddene Perry and Dan Schultz, brought to light the solution that allows steak sans guilt: conscientious omnivory. This concept nullifies my every concern about meat eating… well, all but one. I’ll just have to live with the fact that were I required to kill what I intended to eat, I would end up with a collection of named farm animals living in my backyard on permanent reprieve.

What Pollan, Perry, Schultz and more point out is that most of the concerns are not linked so much to the actual impact of eating animals, but to the impact of our current food system, i.e. CAFOs - Confined, as in crammed together so that each animal must use its extremely limited space as its living room, dining area and bathroom at once; and Animal Feeding Operation, as in bringing animals to slaughter weight as quickly and efficiently as possible in order to maximize profits. (It often strikes me that “Animal Feeding Operation” sounds like machinery, as though what they meant was “Car Door Assembly Operation” and not a home for living creatures.)

I’ll use cows, our cute and delectable buddies, to highlight just a few of the differences between CAFOs and ethically-raised animals.

Because the emphasis is on profitability, CAFOs feed cows corn, grain and a mixture of cheap animal byproducts that often include things like chicken litter. Tasty, right? This mixture is not only inexpensive, it’s fattening, thereby shortening the time until slaughter. But cows were meant to eat grass; consequently, the CAFO feed can lead to sickness in the cows and creates a mixture of fats in the meat that is much more harmful than that found in grass-fed beef. In fact, grass-fed beef has less overall fat, and two to four times more heart-healthy omega 3 fats than CAFO beef.

As for eating lower on the food chain, every cow is able to turn grass, inedible for humans, into several hundred pounds of very edible beef. As they graze, they scatter their droppings which fertilizes next season’s grass, rather than adding to the waste holding tanks necessary on CAFOs.

We are lucky in Greensboro that between the Greensboro Farmers’ Curb Market and the Piedmont Triad Farmers Market, we can get conscientiously-raised meat of every variety, and some we may not have explored before: beef, pork, chicken, ostrich, bison and even Thanksgiving turkeys.

It will cost a little extra but consider it a deduction from future health care costs and a bit of tabletop activism in every meal.