tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-291051422024-03-23T14:16:27.981-04:00Sarah Beth JonesSarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.comBlogger453125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-42748009366151420372009-05-15T11:51:00.006-04:002009-05-18T08:09:31.508-04:00Becoming Sarah<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I recently joined the Floyd Wordsmiths for the first time, a talented group of folks who think the dictionary makes for good reading. The prompt for the meeting was related to our thought heritage. Below is where that idea took me. </span></span><br /> <br /><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mistymountainfurniture.com/catalog/images/Timber-Baron-DngSet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 193px; height: 144px;" src="http://mistymountainfurniture.com/catalog/images/Timber-Baron-DngSet.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You know that camera effect used in art movies and incontinence commercials? The one where one person is frozen, say on a <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York City</st1:place></st1:city> sidewalk at 5:15, and pushing past her are people, thousands of people, moving with such speed and determination that they look like little more than swirling slivers of color? Welcome to my childhood.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I was not stranded on a sidewalk, however, and certainly not in place like <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state> where both art and oddity are embraced. I was stranded at a kitchen table, a rustic oaken affair, long enough to accommodate seven children of various legal and genetic descriptions and casual enough that the inevitable gouges, scratches and crayon streaks only enhanced its beauty. The seven swirled around me on their way to jobs and dates and sports practices, draped in Truth, with a capital T, that special knowledge about life that allowed them to say the right things, wear the right clothes, make the right grades.<br /><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Whatever that knowledge was, they weren’t talking.<br /><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">I spent years trying to jump into the current, trying to read their actions like Braille, perceiving but not comprehending the truths that lay in the space between their words. I accepted as just their reprimands for remaining frozen.<br /><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Still, I tested the waters, wondering if I could pull myself from the current, wondering if dry ground would be lonely, or lonelier. It took years, years to slowly pry myself from the table and nearly a decade more to push my way to the edge of the crowd.<br /><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">And it is occasionally lonely here. But it is never lonelier.<br /><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Mostly, though, it is peaceful and calm, home to a quiet where discoveries can more easily be made. It sometimes seems as though I have found myself at the gateway of the collective unconscious that Carl Jung described, a place where everything primal and of true importance is stored.<br /><o:p></o:p><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">But more often, it seems as though I have finally begun to stop fearing the gray spaces in my understanding, accepting them as being as vast and constant as the dark matter holding our universe together.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"> I have finally begun to realize that there is no capital T and there is no need to watch them any longer <i style="">.<o:p></o:p></i></p>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-19323793435088446842009-05-15T11:15:00.004-04:002009-05-15T11:28:13.926-04:00A note on a year's absence<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqsWF2KWJUrX539EnooMrYYty9EHna7fT7Rcr51TmpjVzbVRmKeDa-zp6cV3aT4raNyIeKc8FXbsPGf_nprUYFnR6_IMXpTjPkRtVf_sluyku61AkiFOdkHwZ3jN6GxqDsOQDC/s1600-h/DSC_5793.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqsWF2KWJUrX539EnooMrYYty9EHna7fT7Rcr51TmpjVzbVRmKeDa-zp6cV3aT4raNyIeKc8FXbsPGf_nprUYFnR6_IMXpTjPkRtVf_sluyku61AkiFOdkHwZ3jN6GxqDsOQDC/s320/DSC_5793.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336072747220206082" border="0" /></a><br />I wrote my last post on May 1, 2008, but let's face it, I had pooped out a while before that. As happened with my many attempts at journaling over the years, I eventually became tired of my own introspections and dissections and wanted some time to just be in life without constantly analyzing it.<br /><br />My stat counter say that people still visit this blog though I haven't drilled down to see if any of them stay long enough read anything. Perhaps misguided results from Google searches?<br /><br />A year passes, everything changes, blah blah blah. I'm ready to post again, another of my experiments with self-imposed deadlines. Let's see how it goes!Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-15752953191573911802008-05-01T06:40:00.003-04:002008-05-01T06:53:10.407-04:00Outlandish sportsmanshipI know I've all but abandoned this blog (I'm not done with blogging, though - just rejiggering for a bit) - but I had to post a link to <a href="http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/24392612/from/ET/">this article</a>. You see, I've been actively seeking signs of hope, stuff to counter what appears to be a worsening trend of mass self-absorption.<br /><br />And while I do revel in the little things - the wave from a driver I let into traffic or a waitress who is extra sweet to my elderly mother-in-law - something like this really makes my sappy eyes water:<br /><br />Sara Tucholsky hit a homerun in a college softball game but her knee gave out before she could touch first base. It looked like her homer would, at best, be reduced to a single by bringing in a sub when the opposing team - get this - members of the <span style="font-style: italic;">opposing </span>team picked Tucholsky up and carried her to each base. It was the only solution that allowed her to keep the run for hitting it out of the park (her first homer, as it turns out) and the competition concocted and executed the idea independently, with no coaxing from a team that ultimately won thanks to their actions.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media4.msnbc.com/j/msnbc/Components/Video/080430/nn_bwms_softball_hr_080430.300w.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://media4.msnbc.com/j/msnbc/Components/Video/080430/nn_bwms_softball_hr_080430.300w.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>So, thanks ladies - particularly Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace (the women above in the white uniforms) - for the Feel Good of the Day!Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-90763057530928398032008-04-18T07:07:00.003-04:002008-04-18T07:27:40.919-04:00Reading isn't really fundamental......not like a few hours in Iraq is...<br /><br /><span class="whoSideHead"><a href="http://www.rif.org">Reading Is Fundamental</a> is a program that was founded in 1966 to prepare and motivate</span><span class="bodyText"> "children to read by delivering free books and literacy resources to those children and families who need them most."<br /><br />The program has requested $26 million to keep the program going in 2009.<br /><br />$26 MILLION.<br /><br />Remind me how many minutes that pays for in Iraq?<br /><br />Being that the current administration hasn't read a book since W. took the <a href="http://home.nyc.rr.com/jadedem/gw1.html">Curious George</a> series personally, they must not understand the mistake they're making in their proposed 2009 budget in which </span><span class="bodyText"><a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6551550.html?nid=2286&source=link&rid=1919525784">all funding for RIF has been cut</a>.</span><span class="bodyText"> They must not understand the value - the importance - the necessity - of reading, especially for kids, especially for the underserved kids who have so much going against them.<br /><br />I don't have to tell <span style="font-style: italic;">you </span>that reading lets us explore the world, even when our families barely (or don't) have enough money to keep the electricity on, much less travel. I don't have to tell you that reading can inspire kids to learn, can help foster creativity, can help us understand one another. But we do need to tell them.<br /><br />Write to your elected representatives <a href="http://capwiz.com/rif/issues/alert/?alertid=11150206&type=CO&azip=20010">here</a>. This administration has spent the last seven years chipping away at America's ability to be an intellectual power. Don't let them take this too.<br /></span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-32907555889833568542008-04-11T11:25:00.003-04:002008-04-11T11:43:53.922-04:00Food and mouth disease research near CAFOsOur genius government is making moves to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/04/11/bush-admin-wants-to-move_n_96203.html">relocate an animal disease research facility</a> from its current home on an isolated island (i.e. not near livestock) to the mainland (i.e. near livestock). Even more exciting for us North Carolinians, <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&q=Butner,+NC,+USA&um=1&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&resnum=1&ct=title">Butner</a> is among the places being considered.<br /><br />Apparently, they were not deterred by a government simulation, "Crimson Sky," that ended in riots when a foot-and-mouth disease outbreak necessitated the killing of tens of millions of farm animals.<br /><br />There's so much wrong with this scenario... but to me, it all boils down to yet one more reason to be very thoughtful about the food I eat. Would a family farm in Butner be any less likely to have to kill their entire heard should viruses sneak out of the lab? Of course not - those animals would have to be destroyed too. But we're talking about the difference between a small, isolated herd and the thousands of animals that are crammed together in <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2007/10/tabletop-activism-case-for.html">CAFOs</a> (Confined Animal Feeding Operation); there, unsanitary, crowded conditions allow disease to roll through the population before the first cow to be infected notices the sniffles. This is why conventional meat is pumped with antibiotics, folks. Outbreaks in CAFOs would cripple our food systems enough to lead to the aforementioned riots.<br /><br />As a side note, when I was in 5th grade, there was talk about building a nuclear power plant in North Carolina. My teacher, <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2007/02/schools-cope-with-forced-mediocrity.html">Mark Moore</a>, read us <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sadako-Thousand-Cranes-Puffin-Classics/dp/0142401137/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207928235&sr=1-1"><span class="sans"><span id="btAsinTitle">Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes</span></span></a><b class="sans"><span id="btAsinTitle">, </span></b><span class="sans"><span id="btAsinTitle">a book in which a Japanese girl attempts to harness the good luck of a thousand origami cranes before the leftover radiation from Hiroshima kills her. Our class made cranes and Mr. Moore mailed them and a copy of the book to the powers that be in protest.<br /><br />Anyone up for some folding?<br /></span></span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-43143701410980637022008-04-11T08:16:00.003-04:002008-04-11T08:22:49.159-04:00Day of SilenceOn April 25, students across the country will take part in a <a href="http://www.dayofsilence.org/">Day of Silence</a> to protest the bullying, harassment, and sadly, violence against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students.<br /><br />Is there anything worth saying that isn't obvious? Our school must be safe for all students. We cannot allow our children to form hateful, prejudicial habits like bullying. Most of all, we have to finally stop placing value judgments on traits that are beyond a person's control - in that way, sexuality is no different than ethnicity.<br /><br />I hope you'll encourage the students in your life to participate.<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.logoonline.com/player/embed/logo" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="CONFIG_URL=http://www.logoonline.com/player/embed/logo/configuration.jhtml%3fvid%3D214880&allowFullScreen=true&hasContinuousPlay=false" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="never" base="." height="405" width="540"></embed>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-48716446246724532712008-04-10T12:21:00.002-04:002008-04-10T12:26:53.226-04:00Iraq spending v. kids and homeless vetsFrom Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) via <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-conyers/petraeus-and-crocker-dj-v_b_96012.html">The Huffington Post</a>:<br /><blockquote>For one day's spending in Iraq, we could provide access to health care for 2.6 million Americans for a year. For one day's spending in Iraq, we could give 48,000 homeless veterans housing for a year."</blockquote>And later:<br /><blockquote>...the conservatives who refused to spend $50 billion dollars over five years to provide health care for needy children don't think twice about spending that amount for five months of war in Iraq."<br /></blockquote>He concludes:<br /><blockquote>Clearly, we are faced with a question of priorities. We can pour money down a destructive suction tube, for a war that is creating more enemies than it can destroy, in pursuit of impossible goals. Or we can invest in our priorities here at home, while showing a new face to the world, one characterized by respect for human rights, diplomacy, and the rule of law. To me, the choice could not possibly be any clearer."</blockquote><br />Indeed.<br /><br />Read Conyers' whole post <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-conyers/petraeus-and-crocker-dj-v_b_96012.html">here</a>.Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-19220602298815303672008-04-08T14:00:00.003-04:002008-04-08T14:04:22.222-04:00Poem for mourningI cut this out of the paper a few weeks ago, and thought of sending it to a woman who recently <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/02/introspection-of-mourning.html">lost her husband</a>. She had recited a poem at his funeral, a mournful poem that he gave her to hold onto until he died. He had no idea she would have need of it so soon.<br /><br />I still haven't mailed it, though. Instead, I'll post it here and send warm, healing thoughts her way...<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#000000;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spare Parts</span><br /><br />We barge out of the womb<br />with two of them: eyes, ears,<br /><br />arms, hands, legs, feet.<br />Only one heart. Not a good<br /><br />plan. God should know we<br />need at least a dozen,<br /><br />a baker's dozen of hearts.<br />They break like Easter eggs<br /><br />hidden in the grass,<br />stepped on and smashed.<br /><br />My own heart is patched,<br />bandaged, taped, barely<br /><br />the same shape it once was<br />when it beat fast for you.<br /><br /> - Trish Dugger</span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-6453494837227278612008-04-08T07:40:00.003-04:002008-04-08T07:42:23.727-04:00A quote for bad days<blockquote>There was a section right in the middle when we sat through the night and I went into a bit of a meltdown. But as I've come to appreciate, melting down is what goldsmiths do to refine dirty gold.<br /></blockquote><br /><a href="http://alistairappleton.com/blog/?p=392">- Alistair Appleton, <span style="font-style: italic;">Do Buddhists Watch Telly?</span></a>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-50618626319909303222008-04-04T07:38:00.003-04:002008-04-04T07:45:21.672-04:00Six-Word Memoir<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=335019&server=www.vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=" height="300" width="400"><param name="quality" value="best"> <param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"> <param name="scale" value="showAll"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=335019&server=www.vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color="></object><br /><a href="http://www.vimeo.com/335019/l:embed_335019">Six-Word Memoir book preview</a> from <a href="http://www.vimeo.com/smithmag/l:embed_335019">SMITHmag</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/l:embed_335019">Vimeo</a>.<br /><br />Mine: Loving myself isn't so hard afterall. <br /><br />What's yours?Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-17805425988825037372008-03-25T08:33:00.002-04:002008-03-25T08:41:21.146-04:00Big Bang Boom CD<a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/03/getcher-bang-hot-off-presses.html">As promised</a>, the <a href="http://www.myspace.com/bigbangboomband">Big Bang Boom</a> CD is now available for purchase - and for only $11! It's parent-friendly kids' music... or kid-friendly good music... or something like that. Listen to some of the tracks <a href="http://www.myspace.com/bigbangboomband">here</a> then buy your disc <a href="http://www.chuckfolds.com/">here</a>. You can also download from my sidebar.<br /><br />Support local music and protect the ears of the parents in your life - Barney knows they've suffered enough with other kids' musicians.Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-32864920348669539402008-03-19T11:55:00.002-04:002008-03-19T12:06:30.443-04:00Obama on race in AmericaThe blogosphere is buzzing about this speech. Why not take a half hour to watch it and make up your own mind?<br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pWe7wTVbLUU&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pWe7wTVbLUU&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-13395634410376837322008-03-19T06:52:00.003-04:002008-03-19T07:23:29.460-04:00Donate to commemorateFor the last few days, I've been thinking about our unfortunate anniversary today, five years in Iraq - five years since awful, intentional lies dragged us into a country that was no threat, five years of sacrificing thousands of our military men and women, and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, for what? Easier access to oil? A grudge for Hussein's aggression towards H.W.? Sating W.'s desire to be a war president?<br /><br />Congrats, Bushie. You've done <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/18/bush-iraq-war-worth-it_n_92226.html">a heckuva job</a>.<br /><br />So, how best to commemorate such a dark spot in American (and world) history? Donate.<br /><br />We, the civilians of the United States of America, have been lied to, oh yes. Our government has treated us like idiots, they have abused the rights our Constitution has given us, they have trampled our privacy and they have plunged our country into massive debt to support their blood lust.<br /><br />But as bad as it has gotten for us, we get to simmer in our outrage from the comfort of our own homes, while we begrudgingly pay $3.50 for gas on the way to pick up our dry cleaning. Meanwhile, the members of our armed forces are being horribly abused. They are being stop-lossed into more and more tours with almost no leave in between. They often lack appropriate training, are poorly outfitted and are completely dismissed upon their discharge, leading to the spike in vet homelessness, mental illnesses and suicide that we have seen in recent years.<br /><br />I hope you are among the majority who agrees with me that this is a despicable war. But even more so, I hope you agree with me that opposing the war doesn't mean opposing the folks who are literally putting their lives on the line for our country, however misguided their missions might be.<br /><br />The <a href="http://www.iava.org">Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America</a> (IAVA) are working to support our military - to get them the equipment, mental and physical health care, and post-discharge support they desperately need.<br /><br />Also on the IAVA site are <a href="http://www.iava.org/troops-charities">links</a> to other war-related charities that support a <a href="http://www.iava.org/troops-charities#sendoverseas">variety</a> <a href="http://www.iava.org/troops-charities#tbi">of</a> <a href="http://www.iava.org/troops-charities#supplies">needs</a> <a href="http://www.iava.org/troops-charities#touch">for</a> the troops as well as <a href="http://www.operationiraqichildren.org/">Iraqi civilians</a> and <a href="http://www.iava.org/troops-charities#families">military families</a>.<br /><br />What better way to commemorate this shameful anniversary than to support those who are most horrifically impacted by it? Let your money be your protest.Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-56071615616618477252008-03-18T18:44:00.002-04:002008-03-18T18:52:34.459-04:00New photos at Through the RectangleI'm pleased to announce that Rob has posted new photos on his site, <a href="http://www.throughtherectangle.com/-/throughtherectangle/default.asp">Through the Rectangle</a>. It's so hard for me to pick favorites but I do have a fondness for <a href="http://www.throughtherectangle.com/-/throughtherectangle/gallery.asp?cat=56560&pID=1&row=15&photoID=5829350&searchTerm=">these</a> <a href="http://www.throughtherectangle.com/-/throughtherectangle/gallery.asp?cat=56560&pID=1&row=15&photoID=5829356&searchTerm=">flowers</a>, and <a href="http://www.throughtherectangle.com/-/throughtherectangle/gallery.asp?cat=81836&pID=1&row=15&photoID=5829319&searchTerm=">this cat</a>... and the <a href="http://www.throughtherectangle.com/-/throughtherectangle/default.asp">photo on the home page</a> makes my pulse race a little.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.throughtherectangle.com/-/throughtherectangle/gallery.asp?cat=56591&pID=1&row=15&photoID=4050652&searchTerm=">This one</a> is particularly pertinent given our sad anniversary tomorrow.Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-78567173662715546032008-03-18T07:17:00.003-04:002008-03-18T07:40:35.258-04:00Writing painOne of the questions I did answer while chatting with an amazing high school creative writing class (see parts <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/03/great-question-part-1.html">1</a> and <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/03/great-question-part-2.html">2</a> of the questions I didn't get to) had to do with whether I think it's okay to write about things that might be painful for others to read. I'd be curious to know what the student had in mind when posing this question - I certainly hope to not produce work that's so painfully bad, it's agony to be read, so I opted for a more topical interpretation of the question: it is okay to write about topics that are uncomfortable for the reader to consider?<br /><br />We're taught from an early age to give a polite "fine" in response to inquiries about our state of being, and from there we spend our lives considering whether any conversation should include anything more substantive, particularly if it's negative, than that "fine." And then something derails our lives - abuse, the death of a loved one, mental illness, you fill in the blank - and we feel as though we are locked in a vacuum because no one's talking about how the same thing happened to them, how they experienced the same emotions.<br /><br />Besides, who are we without our pain? Just as our joys and successes factor into who we are as whole people, so too do our disappointments and traumas... Could you fully describe yourself using only the happy moments in your life?<br /><br />Kevin Powell (who people my age likely remember well from the first season of the reality show that set off the reality trend, The Real World) demonstrates this well in his poem Son2Mother. This is a short excerpt - I encourage you to read the whole poem <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-powell/son2mother_b_91809.html">here</a>.<br /> <p><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">Mother, have I told you<o:p></o:p><br />That you are the first woman<o:p></o:p><br />I ever fell in love with, that what<o:p></o:p><br />I've always wanted in life is to hear<o:p></o:p><br />You say you love me, too? <o:p></o:p><br />That is why, ma, it has taken<o:p></o:p><br />Me so long to write this poem.<o:p></o:p><br />For how could I, a<o:p></o:p><br />Grown man, put words to paper<o:p></o:p><br />If I am that little boy<o:p></o:p><br />Cowering beneath the power of<o:p></o:p><br />That slap, the swing of that belt,<o:p></o:p><br />Or the slash and burn of that switch<o:p></o:p><br />You used to beat me into fear and submission?</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Continue reading Son2Mother <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-powell/son2mother_b_91809.html">here</a>.</span></span></p><p>The polite "fine" has its place at dinner parties and business meetings, but we do ourselves, and each other, a disservice when we hide behind it our whole lives.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-72474460120010730672008-03-17T08:27:00.001-04:002008-03-17T08:28:11.645-04:00Great question: Part 2<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Hey! I was able to actually continue a series - this being a series dedicated to answering the great questions of an astute high school creative writing class. Read Part 1 <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/03/great-question-part-1.html">here</a>. </span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: Do you think writers are born or made? Which do you think you are?<br /><br /></span>A: I tend to think there's a blend of nature and nurture in most facets of who we are and how we live our lives - that our natural abilities can either be nurtured or discouraged - both the talent itself and our belief that we can make a living at it. I'm definitely better with the written word than math or hard sciences or even speaking (as the students I spoke with will likely attest!), and I've been lucky enough to have had a really solid education in high school and college as well as people who encouraged me (including my rocking husband who has made it financially possible).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: Are there any people who dislike your writing and how do you respond?<br /><br /></span>A: There are two kinds of dissenting voices (at least, when it came to responding to my former <a href="http://www.sarahbethjones.com/columns.html">News & Record</a> column): the rational people who just don't agree and the crazies who are clearly more invested in being ugly than in having a debate. For the first group, I reply with the most comprehensive and thoughtful argument about why I disagree as I can. I really appreciate thoughtful disagreement and work to nurture relationships with people who offer them.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>As for the other group, sometimes I just ignore them (if I think they're really not worth my time) and the rest of the time, I reply with the calmest, most rational response I can muster. Nothing annoys people like that more than failing to get under <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">someone's</span> skin.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: What makes writing your passion?<br /><br /></span>A: The whole thing is pretty amazing to me: that we can rearrange existing words and share a unique thought, feeling, perspective, story... Writing is an excuse to learn about anything, explore any area of life, and most of all, writing is a medium through which we can connect to one another even as the world seems to become less friendly, even as we each seem to be further retreating into our own private lives. That I could rearrange words in a way that someone else finds meaningful or thought-provoking is one of the greatest thrills I can imagine.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: Did anyone in particular inspire you to be a writer?<br /><br /></span>A: Not really... so many authors have inspired me, and many people have been supportive of me (I count myself very lucky in that way). <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=pd_sc_1?ie=UTF8&search-alias=stripbooks&field-keywords=madeleine%20l%27engle">Madeleine <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">L'Engle</span></a> did change how I thought about writing, though. I heard her speak when I was a kid (maybe around 10?) and she talked about getting into the story and letting it lead - sometimes, it takes you to unexpected places, but the job of the author is to record what's happening, not force things to happen...<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-54591410290776408962008-03-13T07:22:00.002-04:002008-03-13T11:26:07.813-04:00Getcher Bang hot off the pressesThat's right: <a href="http://www.myspace.com/bigbangboomband">Big Bang Boom</a>'s first album is <span style="font-style: italic;">finally</span> ready for purchase! This is the latest project of the ever-so-talented <a href="http://www.chuckfolds.com/">Chuck Folds</a> (long-time Greensborians may remember him from Bus Stop) whose other current projects are <a href="http://www.myspace.com/rubberbandentertainment">Rubberband</a> and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/chuckfoldsfive">Chuck Folds Five</a>.<br /><br />If you haven't given Big Bang Boom a listen yet, <a href="http://www.myspace.com/bigbangboomband">now is the time</a>. My favorite on the site is Why Can't I Have Ice Cream?, but there are songs on the album that seriously rival it. Okay, so it <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> kids' music but I promise that you don't have to have kids to enjoy it - which is kind of the point. A lifelong musician like Chuck really doesn't want to listen along as his kids listen to Barney... and nor should you.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.chuckfolds.com/index.html">Download now</a> or, if you're more patient than me, wait for the actual disk to come out. Chuck recommends the latter because, as he says,<br /><dl><dt><center><span style="font-family:Monaco;font-size:-1;color:#006600;">1- It sounds better! Digital download purchases are mp3's which are lower quality audio files.</span></center></dt><dt><center><span style="font-family:Monaco;font-size:-1;color:#006600;">2- You get the cd with the cover art, liner notes, etc...something you can hold in your hand.</span></center></dt><dt><center><span style="font-family:Monaco;font-size:-1;color:#006600;">3- You can easily put the cd in your computer and make mp3's for your mp3 player (yes, you can make a cd from the mp3's as well but see #2 above)</span></center></dt><dt><center><span style="font-family:Monaco;font-size:-1;color:#006600;">4- It helps us more as digital download stores take fees off the top of those purchases.</span></center></dt></dl>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-79799508886268554612008-03-11T16:59:00.004-04:002008-03-11T17:05:36.581-04:00OK hate speechAs in Oklahoma... as in state rep Sally Kern... She calls it free speech - I call it an example of the kind of person who doesn't deserve a leadership role in our country. I hope her constituents are listening, too.<br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tFxk7glmMbo&rel=1&border=0"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tFxk7glmMbo&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Sign an open letter to Kern <a href="http://www.victoryfund.org/files/listening.html">here</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Thanks to <a href="http://www.interstateq.com/archives/2634/">Interstate Q</a> for the post.</span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-60637962931717298492008-03-11T07:33:00.002-04:002008-03-11T08:06:44.352-04:00Their Eyes Were Watching God - reflectionsSo, it took me a little longer than I expected to reread <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Their_Eyes_Were_Watching_God">Their Eyes Were Watching God</a> </span>- I was pleasantly sidetracked by rereading (ironically enough, given <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/01/their-eyes-were-watching-god.html">my general reluctance to reread anything</a>) a childhood favorite, Madeleine L'Engle's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Wrinkle_in_Time"><span style="font-style: italic;">A Wrinkle in Time</span></a>. (As a long sidenote, we picked this up for our eight-year-old nephew for Hanukkah and I offered to read it alongside him... it was interesting how differently it struck me as an adult - how scary the story is, unrelentingly scary - and how thick with religious undertones, though no particular religion... at least, no particular monotheistic religion. I'm looking forward to hearing what my nephew thinks of it...)<br /><br />But with a box of tissues and stubborn unwillingness to answer my phone, I took the book and my (now finally ended) cold to bed one afternoon and plowed through it. As with my first three readings of <span style="font-style: italic;">Their Eyes</span>, the book hit me differently this time...<br /><br />I was in high school the first time I read it, and was a romantic with seriously unhealthy tendencies (particularly when it came to romance) so I was primarily swept away by Janie and Tea Cake's romance - they had found true love, their soul mates. Sure, they hit one another, and sure, Tea Cake did some questionable stuff but such are the complexities of amore, I thought.<br /><br />In subsequent readings, I was lost in Hurston's language which is often breathtakingly beautiful.<br /><br /><blockquote>She pulled the horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulders."</blockquote><br />In those readings, I lost the romance in my anger at Tea Cake.<br /><br />Perhaps it's being older... perhaps it's being (slightly) less judgemental, but this time, I didn't feel like I had to defend Janie or Tea Cake - I just had to join them. I missed the language for being lost in the story, discovering love with Janie under the pear tree; running away with her to Joe Starks, then sitting uncomfortably in his store; falling in love with Tea Cake and loving him despite his human shortcomings...<br /><br />I occasionally go through phases where I value non-fiction more than fiction because I want fact, the truth of the world. But <span style="font-style: italic;">Their Eyes are Watching God</span> is a great reminder that truth and fact are often not the same thing.<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-68719042645267619932008-03-10T08:55:00.002-04:002008-03-10T09:46:58.740-04:00Great question: Part 1Last Thursday, I spent a class period with an amazing high school creative writing class. I've always stayed pretty connected with my high school self (as in, I remember all too well what that time in my life was like, not, hopefully, that I haven't evolved in the decade+ since then) and so have always had a special place in my heart, and special set of sympathies, for teenagers. Of course, I often don't get teenagers - life and the way people experience their teen years does change ever so rapidly. But the creativity, playfulness, sarcasm and angst displayed by this group felt so comfortable to me, so very familiar.<br /><br />The list of questions the students put together for me is a study in thoughtful inquisition - really interesting questions that I was really excited to answer. But there were so many of them that most went unanswered in the little talk I prepared. So, in an ongoing series of posts, I intend to answer the rest. I hope my regular readers will enjoy it as much as the students who opt to stop by.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: Do you think that good writing has been replaced by popular fluff that appeals to the masses?<br /><br /></span>A: I think that there are lots of reasons people write and lots of reasons people read, and that sheer entertainment is a valid reason for both. My guess is that the ratio of fluffy entertainment to well-informed non-fiction and meaty, rich fiction isn't so different than it used to be... but with more and more books being published, and the democratization of writing with blogging, and with fewer people actually reading, it might be harder to wade through to more substantive writing. But there are so many amazing contemporary authors: <a href="http://books.google.com/books?as_auth=Jhumpa+Lahiri&sa=X&oi=print&ct=title&cad=author-navigational&hl=en">Jhumpa Lahiri</a>, <a href="http://www.michaelpollan.com/">Michael Pollan</a>, <a href="http://www.anoshirani.com/">Anosh Irani</a>, <a href="http://books.google.com/books?as_auth=Salman+Rushdie&sa=X&oi=print&ct=title&cad=author-navigational&hl=en">Salman Rushdie</a>, <a href="http://www.marshamehran.com/">Marsha Mehran</a>... on and on...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: How do you organize your thoughts while writing?<br /><br /></span>A: I'll let you know as soon as I figure that out... organization is an abiding preoccupation of mine - it's damn near a hobby, really. I'm forever reorganizing, rearranging. For shorter works, I tend to write in layers: first thoughts go down then I revise and rewrite in the document until I like what it says, with notes to myself piling up at the bottom. For longer works, I've been using <a href="http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/onenote/default.aspx">OneNote</a> lately, a program that works like an actual notebook with sections, pages, subpages, etc. It can collect anything - Web pages, other documents, spreadsheets, images, notes - and is easily searchable. Right now, everything goes in there... now, remembering to look back at that is an entirely different story...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: When you walk into a room, do you first observe the condition of the room or the people inside the room?<br /><br /></span>A: People, always people. People are more interesting to me than just about anything else... and I think it's important to meet the world head-on, looking people in the eye. I think it's a friendlier way to approach life and it shows confidence - it can even build confidence when there's not much to show.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: Which is more important in persuasive writing: style, content or wit?<br /><br /></span>A: I think there's probably a perfect blend of style and content out there - style to engage people, giving the writer an opportunity to be persuasive, and content so that once the reader is hooked into the piece, there's a worthwhile argument to offer. It is in making a worthwhile argument that wit, in terms of being on the ball, comes into play. Wit, in terms of humor, is a bonus, but plenty of successful writers have shown us that it's not essential to persuasion (see <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/24/LI2005032402294.html">George Will</a>).<br /><br />More to come! <span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-63781413740569339342008-03-05T11:01:00.004-05:002008-03-05T14:38:51.952-05:00Eating in AshevilleLife does have a way of blowing by, but before our lovely meals become distant memories, I wanted to do a post on where we ate in Asheville last weekend.<br /><br />When we came into town, we went straight to <a href="http://www.12bones.com/">12 Bones</a> - it's only open on weekdays and only for lunch, so it was our one opportunity. We were hopeful when we pulled in because the usual line wasn't snaking through the parking lot. As it turned out, the line was snaked through the restaurant proper - so much for a small crowd at a late lunch. As usual, the BBQ and ribs were amazing, as were the sides. Unfortunately, the crowd meant we had to sit outside, which would have been okay (despite the cold and the low oil in the table heater) if some folks hadn't let their kids use the outdoor seating area as their personal playground (while the parents dined inside). I'm guessing one kid is still having nightmares about the glare Rob gave him when he decided to springboard off the table <span style="font-style: italic;">we were eating at</span> - the kid kicking up dirt a few feet away would have had a similar terror had he been paying attention. As we were leaving, the kids were throwing stones at random cars in the parking lot. Yeah.<br /><br />That night, though, made up for that weirdness in spades. A new joint has opened in Biltmore Village, in a building that was most recently a biker bar. The before pictures they had for our viewing pleasure showed amazing imagination in turning that run down hole into what is now <a href="http://www.stovetrotters.com/">Stovetrotters</a>. Stovetrotters is a wild place with lots of big dreams - I encourage you to visit their Web site to learn about some of the wine dinners, culinary vacations and more that they've got going on (or, in some cases, will have going on soon). As a straight-up dining experience, though, we summed it up as a fine dining where you feel comfortable slouching.<br /><br />You walk into Stovetrotters looking straight into the open kitchen, which is set up behind the bar. We got our first little thrill when the chef looked up from what he was doing to greet us as soon as we stepped inside. The place is small, so a little loud, but that added to it feeling comfortable for us. The waitstaff was warm and knowledgeable and gave off the distinctive feeling that they are in it for the love of the place as much, if not more, than the paycheck. The food was excellent... though, for the sake of full-disclosure, I do have to confess it wasn't <span style="font-style: italic;">the best</span> meal we've ever had, but it was way up there and the dedication of the staff makes us believe that they will only get better with time. After all, they've only been open as a bistro since December.<br /><br />Over the course of our meal, we chatted with the owner/pastry chef, the chef, and our waiter who is also the sommelier. We witnessed staff members teasing one another then hugging and a waiter give the chef a high-five after tasting the special for the night (by then, we had finished eating but I had to know what the waiter was so excited about so he brought us a little tasting plate of a pecan-crusted mahi with a sour cherry compote over risotto - we instantly understood the high-five).<br /><br />I know, those are silly little things, but for me and Rob, they all added up to the best overall dining experience we've had - comfortable, warm, friendly, delicious - and we had a three-course meal with wine for just over $100 - can't beat it!<br /><br />The rest of the weekend was rounded out with places where we've eaten before but were eager to return: <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g60742-d461972-Reviews-Salsa_Mexican_Caribbean_Food-Asheville_North_Carolina.html">Salsa's</a>, the first place everyone mentions when dining in Asheville (crazy delicious Carrabean/Latino flavors piled high - go very hungry but plan to wait in line), <a href="http://www.bluemountainpizza.com/">Blue Mountain Pizza</a> in Weaverville, a pizza joint with a gourmet's soul and bohemian clothes, and, never to be missed, the <a href="http://www.chocolatefetish.com/">Chocolate Fetish</a> where you won't regret trying anything but <span style="font-style: italic;">must</span> have the sea salt caramels.<br /><br />Just some thought for food...Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-40116007972686306602008-03-03T07:58:00.002-05:002008-03-03T08:06:07.999-05:00Anti-drug adAt the <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/03/claypool-in-asheville.html">aforementioned <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Claypool</span> show</a>, Rob and I had an idea for an anti-pot ad that might actually work...<br /><br />Toward the end of the night, a couple of hippie chicks were dancing next to us, we're guessing stoned out of their <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">gourds</span>, waving their little arms and swaying around, throwing in moves that were reminiscent of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYe53YwErGM&feature=related">Walk Like an Egyptian</a> but without the Bangles' sultry sex appeal. It was truly painful to watch.<br /><br />That's it - they're the ad. Sure, you can smash eggs and deflate <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">teenage</span> girls and try to scare kids from trying weed, but show them that they could easily look way less cool than they think they look, and I think the campaign will be more <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">impactful</span>. After all, almost no teenager can relate to ruining their short-term memory but every teen can relate to the quest for coolness...Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-72868568518574320192008-03-03T07:09:00.004-05:002008-03-03T07:58:16.833-05:00Claypool in AshevilleIt is, indeed, time for another <a href="http://www.lesclaypool.com/">Claypool</a> <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2006/11/primus-live-in-atlanta.html">concert</a> <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2007/06/and-yet-more-claypool.html">report</a>!<br /><br />This past Saturday, Claypool was back at the <a href="http://www.theorangepeel.net/">Orange Peel</a>, a club that ranks among our favorites because there's really not a bad spot in the place. We were waiting out the pre-show on a bench in the corner and had a pretty decent view of the stage when the opening act, <a href="http://www.myspace.com/secretchiefs3">Secret Chiefs 3</a>, came one. We didn't stay seated long, though. I wasn't totally turned on when I heard their music on their MySpace site (I like my readers too much to send you to their official Web site - that thing is all but unnavigable). But live, they were (mostly) able to pull their seriously eclectic sound, produced by seven people on stage and featuring influences including Indian and Irish (that we heard - I can't begin to decipher the influences list on their page), into a really compelling set.<br /><br />But Claypool, our ole pal Claypool... according to an interview with <a href="http://www.mountainx.com/ae/2008/022708claypool">Mountain Xpress</a>, Claypool wanted to mix it up a bit for this show:<br /><blockquote>We’re working up a bunch of old material right now that people are going to be very surprised I’m pulling out,” he says, including “some stuff that’s never been able to be performed before.”<br /><br /></blockquote>And how. The show was unlike any other Claypool experience we've had which first made us wonder what he was partaking of during his off-stage breaks and later made us wonder if <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&ct=res&cd=1&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgabbylala.com%2F&ei=Tu_LR8_uHqSigQS3vtSIDw&usg=AFQjCNGR1sgq0FfEiEW1O8DYPk3RhjtSIw&sig2=MNpVGybPMbzgl3KDnDSXoQ">Gabby LaLa</a>, who was notably missing, is the den mother who keeps the boys from straying too far from the sheet music. Don't get me wrong - we love Gabby LaLa's artful Theremin dancing and electric sitar strumming, but Claypool, saxophonist <a href="http://www.myspace.com/43304272">Skerik</a>, drummer <a href="http://www.deadweightsf.com/">Paulo Baldi</a> and percussionist (including vibraphone and marimba) <a href="http://www.myspace.com/mikedillonpercussion">Mike Dillon</a> put on a hell of a show.<br /><br />They were kind enough to grace us with some crowd sing-along favorites, like D's Diner and Whamola, but true to his word, they also played some unexpected ditties, like Fisticuffs (a Primus song, no less), Highball with the Devil, Buzzards of Green Hill, Cosmic Highway and oh so many more... and, with all the riffing and improvising they did, I'm not sure than any song lasted less than ten minutes, including an extended dueling drum bit in the middle of the set (with his floppy hair and no holds barred performing, Dillon sometimes closely resembles <a href="http://www.thesu.com/files/muppets-animal.jpg">Animal</a> from the Muppets). All told, their set was two and a half hours of fancy music fun.<br /><br />As a side note, though Claypool did his usual costume changes and then some (new to the mix were a judges robes with a powdered wig and some sort of Genghis Khan looking warrior mask), the rest of the guys were outfitted in these queer (dictionary definition, people) red turtle necks with little snowmen all over them, the kind of thing only a woman who shops at Cold Water Creek would wear seriously... did they lose a bet to Claypool? I suppose we'll never know...Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-12697523418502217472008-02-28T17:12:00.003-05:002008-02-28T17:29:02.187-05:00Will hike for mental health<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-smalley/using-nature-to-rediscove_b_88337.html">Susan Smalley posted</a> about the mental health benefits of reconnecting with nature on The Huffington Post today. According to her bio, Smalley is a "Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences at UCLA who specializes in the genetics of psychiatric disorders, particularly those with onset in childhood or adolescence, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and autism."<br /><br />She, and supporting research, posit that part of the increase in anxiety, depression and learning disorders in modern kids (and I would suggest adults, too) stems from a disconnection from nature, play and activities that involved creativity and intuition.<br /><br />It does smack of woo-woo hippidom, but I can see the sense of it - or, at least, I can sense the sense of it... I have had many experiences lately where Rob has encouraged me to drop whatever it was that I was working on, which inevitably seemed urgently important at the time, and hit a <a href="http://sarahbethjones.blogspot.com/2008/02/stone-mountain-state-park.html">hiking</a> trail for an hour. And the second we're surrounded by trees, I feel calm.<br /><br />I can't explain why and, frankly, I don't think the why is particularly important in this case. Maybe it's simply being disconnected from the world for a moment; maybe we're hardwired to respond to the sounds of the upper branches of trees creaking in the wind and birds calling to one another; maybe the pure oxygen that seeps from trees gets us high.<br /><br />Of course, with hiking, there are the added benefits of whatever it is that exercise does to contribute to mental wellness. Again, I don't know what that is, but I know that when I get into the habit of exercising, I notice the change in my mood when I stop. (Rob notices the change, too, I assure you.) It's not like I'm doing anything ambitious, like running until I hit the endorphin rush - just hiking, sometimes somewhat briskly, but always with plenty of stops while Rob takes pictures or we just admire something out there - the turtles floating in the water or the curve of a particular tree.<br /><br />Smalley suggests taking time to "Lie down on the ground and what the sky for a while," and I can't agree more. It's free, there are no nasty side effects (read: Prozac and a sadly decreased libido) and you don't have to reveal your inner soul to someone you're paying $125 an hour (though I am a huge advocate of doing so).<br /><br />All in all, it's a big "why not?"Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29105142.post-26050517974399894082008-02-26T07:47:00.002-05:002008-02-26T08:09:37.337-05:00Memory at 85Because I married a man a bit older than me, and because he was the surprise child of a woman who initially thought the symptoms of her third pregnancy were signs of her impending "change," I have a mother-in-law who is 85. Since I've known her, she has gone from mildly forgetful to clearly living with dementia. I try to stay very silver-lining about it, which isn't terribly hard because Caroline remembers us and the rest of the family and she's still herself (unlike some with Alzheimer's who display entirely different personalities). And she's basically happy - she'd rather live in an apartment (though definitively none of her kids - something she decided when caring for her own mother with dementia), but says the assisted living facility where she lives is "good enough for now," with nice people and good food that she's eternally grateful to not have to cook.<br /><br />Lately, though, we've noticed a drop in her memory. Though we like to think of memory loss (as she puts it) as a steady decline, there are actually dips and plateaus - occasionally, there are even rebounds, such as when Caroline became disoriented when she moved into assisted living but rebounded to basically where she was, memory-wise and functionally, before moving.<br /><br />So, yesterday I took her to the doctor to get a referral to a neurologist. No harm checking it out, we figure. It's been three years since her last trip to the neurologist and there's no telling what kinds of treatment options have been put on the market since then. We are, after all, living in what some reckon to be the golden age of brain sciences.<br /><br />Her primary care physician said, "So, how old are you?"<br /><br />Ah, I see where this is going...<br /><br />"And you think your memory is poorer than it should be for 85?"<br /><br />Yup, we've landed... at a good point, no less. What do we expect from an 85 year old woman? I'll admit that I expect what I have with my own 87-year-old grandmother and 88-year-old step-grandfather who are both sharp as tacks, both of whom reside in independent living facilities. But perhaps I have it backwards? Perhaps Caroline's functioning should be what we expect in these years so far beyond the lifespan relatively recent history suggests we should have, while these two amazing paragons of health should be considered exceptions worthy of much celebration.<br /><br />There's been an increasing amount of debate lately about our expectations of aging, particularly in America where we seem to believe aging is optional. Graceful aging is more often regarded as confusing - why would we accept gray hair and wrinkles when we have a host of professionals and products to remedy them?<br /><br />At nearly 30, it's easy for me to enjoy my growing crop of gray hair and make predictions about how I will face aging once my brain and body start giving out on me. Really, really easy.<br /><br />In the meantime, I'll take Caroline to the neurologist and hope that he has some fancy new prescription that will combat her dementia if even only a little. If nothing else, the effort will make her happy.Sarah Beth Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05243208758094716478noreply@blogger.com0